MIRACLEMAN: THE SILVER AGE #5 - Review

 

"In case of Reading a Bunch of Crappy Comic Books: Break Glass”. That’s what should read on the outside of a case that houses this MiracleMan comic but no glass case exists. I’ve had this issue facing out at the top of my comic book rack for a while for just said occasion. Like a true miraculous deified Hero it was waiting for the moment when it was needed most, when the comic offerings sitting underneath it or behind it proved to be so unbearably maddening that I needed the guarantee of its Gaiman Glory.

 

The completion of Miracleman, one of the greatest stories in the history of comics and modern literature, yes I said it, eff Harry Pooper, got off to a rocky start at best. I was crestfallen, ooh I love when I get to use that word properly, yes I was crestfallen. There was such a great anticipation for this book and then it was smeared with a cheap questionably pedo smooch that came out of nowhere. Thankfully, Gaiman switched gears and got things back on track last issue and reminded us why he’s a titan of the industry.

 

So needless to say I was psyched to peel this open until it hit me that, wait, this is Marvisney, this is what they do. They get you excited then ball up their fist in a Mickey Mouse glove and thwack you in your nizzuts. Everything they touch lately has turned to poop. Was Gaiman invincible? Whose idea was this Dicky Dauntless Miracle smooch anyway? Gaiman’s? Igers? Satan? The real witches that the Hocus Pocus movies are based on who prepare the food in the Marvisney employee cafeteria? Oh fer goodness sake Marvisney, clench those cheeks and save your culture dung for something else!

 

Well, turns out this issue was fine, but, I mean, nothing really happened here. Purple Hair chick takes Dicky Dick on her flying cycle with her ex to London to go looking for the records of when he was a kid. Umm, that’s pretty much except for a final reveal/reaction by Dicky which I won’t spoil for you here. After that Neil pops in another retro comic stylized story like he did in the previous where Double M is gazing in a looking glass and watches this old timey story unfold. Admittedly, this back-up story was fantastic. He’s got every nuance and the vernacular of these comics from the Golden Age down to a tee. It feels like you’re reading one of those facsimile issues that they’ve been putting out recently (which I absolutely love). 

And then, well, that’s it. Feels like Neil forgot he was on a deadline with Marvisney and just cobbled this script together for the amazing talents that are Bellaire and Buckingham. Or maybe Neil’s taking the Mouse on! Maybe he was told to go one way with the story and this is him telling Beelzebub to take the piss. Oh, you want me to do all that? These are your notes? How about I drop an issue where nothing really happens, for shits and giggles. Whose stock dipped under 90? Mine or yours? Go Neil Go! I can see Marvisney suits in their office in a conference call to Neil in the UK just gushing over how amazing he is and how delighted they are with the direction that the book is going on. Of course once they hang up on him they all drop to their hind legs and start growling and gnashing their teeth “How are we going to extract his consciousness and hook it up to our AI Mainframe while we render his body lifeless so we can have our way with it every Halloween like we do with the rest of our writing staff?"

 

At any rate, it was a relatively quick read, an interlude/bridge for what’s to come, no major fireworks, no pedo smooches although Purple Hair Chick is probably on fire for the Dicky but so far she hasn’t ravished him…yet. Hmm, well, that just freed up a bunch of time since this comic was so succinct and inconsequential, I feel less than satisfied. I guess I can get myself to one of the actor picket lines. Let me see, when are they picketing Disney and where? Burbank, hmm. Wait, how hot is it out? 87??? That means 142 in Burbank in the shade. Let me check the traffic and see how long it’s taking to get from West Adams, which is near USC, to Burbank right now. Hmm, only 4 hours and 17 minutes, that’s not too bad. I wonder if I plaster the recent Hulk #1 on a picket sign do you think people will look at me funny? Probably. I do have my ‘Stream This’ sign which is a picture of pee going in a urinal. Hmm, yeah probably shouldn’t take that either, I can see being called transphobic over it. I mean, I can’t make the connection but I’m sure some unhinged actor who hasn’t booked a job since Clinton was in office will probably lose it on me.

 

Yeah, I think fearing for my life outweighs my need to yell epithets at Disney from their Gates of Hell. I’ll just do what I’ve been doing for the past several months during the Writer’s strike: I meditate and send good vibes to the writer. Next, after I’m done going ohmmm, I open up my Uber app and an ‘Uber Package’ to pick up a couple poopy bags filled with the excrement of my Little Princess and have them delivered it to one of the major streamers. I’ve been doing that for months. The Uber Drivers don’t care, they’re used to driving complete utter pieces of poop around LA so this is probably an upgrade for them, at least these pieces of poop don’t talk.

 

I mean, really, with gas prices so high and traffic worse than ever they need to set up Zoom Picket lines so we can just hop on a Zoom Strike Line when we have the time. I mean, do you think mega-billion dollar earning studios are quaking in their boots when they see dozens of out of work actors from the valley show up outside their gates? You wanna hit them hard? Hack their conference calls and insert a Zoom Strike Feed into their conference rooms. Central Casting needs to sic all of their extras on their favorite dining spots: Mr. Chow’s, Craig’s, Spartina, the altar for children underneath the Getty Center. If they’re threatening to keep this going to the point where actors lose their homes then we need to pull a Los Angeles 2023 and start erecting tents around their homes in the hills and in Bel Air. C’mon people! Think outside the box!

 

Anyway, this was okay, now I have to clean up the glass all around my comic book rack that I broke to get to this.

 

Rating: 7.5

Verdict: Pull 

MIRACLEMAN: THE SILVER AGE #4 - Review

 

 

No other way of putting this, It’s been a really rough start to the world of comic books in 2023. I mean, what the hell is going on out there??? Is it just me? Does it seem like they’ve pulled a switcheroo on us? It’s as if we were going to a farmer’s market to get these delicious mangos every weekend but all of a sudden the mangos taste horrible but the dude at the market with the chapped ruddy skin and a wad of bills in his hand is like ‘Waddya mean, it’s the same mango!’ It is not the same mango and it is not the same comic book universe. Did something happen with all these stories of multiple timelines and multiverses where they accidentally switched places with one of their multiverses where all the comic books are mediocre?

 

If I was to get all corporate and put on a monkey suit and masonic tie/noose around my neck so that I could assess the first quarter of comic book solicits I would come back and notate this one phrase on my quarterly review: There be slim pickins. What has been great so far? Truly great? Don’t say Saga. Saga has become like the show ‘Cheers’ in its heyday. Every episode is an enjoyable experience and a comfort zone for your life; you can count on it delivering the goods. It’s not changing the landscape of TV or shattering the mold it’s just doing what it does best. BKV and Fiona found their formula, it’s brilliant and it can go for a century if they so choose. But it’s not necessarily at that ‘Awe inspiring great wow level’ that is turning your world upside down. The only thing I can think of that has even come close to a Wow this year was ‘A Vicious Circle’ which actually came out at the very end of last year but has yet to deliver issue 2 of 3. That’s it. I say all this because one of the potential ‘Wow Books’ of the year was this one. Gaiman and Buckingham were supposed to deliver a story for the ages as they took up the mantle of Double M. Their first installment was nothing short of a WTF and the one after was a gigantic ginormous ‘Mnyeh, that was aight’.

 

So as I sat down in my perfect comic reading environment with a perfectly made cup of pour over organic coffee, a gluten free twinkie and my doggie nestled by my side I looked at the current issue of MiracleMan and said ‘Oh for goodness sake, would you fucking be amazing already!’ First things first: This Variant Cover rocks.

 

Don’t get me started on the absurdity of the variant cover market and how ridiculous the prices are. Real quick, if you make poop, and then say hey, I’m going to put this poop out there but you’ll only be able to find this poop in 1 of 125 or 1 of 250 comic books, well guess what? When you get lucky enough to find it or pay through the nose for it I have some bad news for you: it’s still poop. Just because it’s scarce doesn’t mean it’s valuable. It’s called artificial scarcity my friends and they are raking your wallets across the coals over it. That said: I absolutely looooove all these faux action figure comic book covers. Love Love Love. Here’s a thought: Why can’t these be real?

 

You want to milk us for our complete paycheck for a variant then why can’t these action figures be real? Why isn’t this MiracleMan action figure able to be purchased with this comic??? Look how cool it is, I want it! How hard can that be? My goodness every previewsworld I look at has dozens of new action figures why can’t the marketing departments get themselves together over some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings one Friday afternoon and figure out how to release actual action figures with these action figure variants? How amazing would that be?!? Dude. I would pay like, I dunno, $25 for a DoubleM Action Figure and this comic, does that sound about right? Maybe $30, possibly $40 but no more. There, you’ve sapped me of a chunk of change over something that probably costs $5 to make. Do it! Make our geeky dreams come true. Look, there’s awful soul sucking evil marketing schemes and then there are ones where there is joy, giddiness and a free flowing exchange of currency for widget. Make It so people. Dammit I want the DoubleM in this cover! Anyway.

 

As for this issue Gaiman was smart enough to revisit the alien world of the Qys and the Warpsmiths which immediately reminded us of the epic grandeur of what this book has been. Is it me or does the Qys chick look like Portman’s Padme Amidala from Star Wars? Check it out:

 

 

 

Pretty sure Double M and the Qys came out before this installment of Star Wars so either Gaiman gets a real Wookie in his house as a payoff or maybe Gaiman has been guaranteed to pen a new Star Wars Tale where Han Solo becomes Hannah Solo, C3PO gets tits and the exhaust fumes of every spaceship will spit out a rainbow. At any rate, I really love the Alien aspect of this book. Maybe the Qys chick saying that 'Things are weird' was Gaiman's way of acknowledging how wonky the series start was, one can only hope. Feels like he was doubling back in this issue especially with Hagrid/MisterMaster questioning Dicky D and his Dicky D name which is what I'm sure all of us would do if we ever met the kid...

 

Me: Seriously Dicky?  Dude, you think that's your real name? 

 

Dicky: But it's all I know, it's who I am

 

Me: Hulk Hogan's name is Terry. Dirk Diggler's names is Eddie Adams, got it? You either have a wrestler's name or a porn name but it's not real homie.

Dicky: [Blank Stare]

Me: I think that MiracleWoman chick who looks like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct is your problem bro, she's fuckin' wit Double M. You needs to confront her ass.

Dicky: [Blank Stare]

Me: Dude, she told Double M to kiss you, it wasn't his idea. She's after the MM Throne. This is like some Shakespeare shit but with tights and a guy who ruined a show called 'The Sandman'.

Dicky: [Blank Stare]

 

Me: So imagine if you watched a TV show of your life but you looked like Beyonce and MiracleMan was being played by Greta Thunberg, you'd be pretty annoyed right?

Dicky: I don't understand.

Me: Can you make me the action figure on this comic? Let's start there.

 

Gaiman and Buckingham then go all Retro Comic Book vibe for the second half of this book and introduce Johnny Bates as...Young Nastyman! What??? I wanna be Young Nastyman! I think I was actually, black and yellow tights notwithstanding. There's gotta be a spinoff after this is done, the Exploits of Young Nastyman! A streaming show! An immersive experience! A burger pop-up, young nasty burgers! Some fancy shmancy Japanese Anime figurine company needs to release thei $500 Young Nastyman 1:4 action figure! This world needs Young Nastyman! 

The final panel of Double M looking at a looking glass at the retro comic art and then gazing out into the stars is just perfect. I got a little verklempt just reading it. Aww, it's good, it's really good, sniffle. Phew. Okay, Neil, you done did it. You got this book back in the saddle and I'm all in for the rest of the ride. This is what brilliant writers do and there's never been any question as to Neil's pedigree.  Of course it could all go hooey kablooey by next issue so I'm gonna hold off for as long as I can before reading the next installment.

In the meantime, who do I talk to about getting that Action Figure made? 

Rating: 8.9

Verdict: Pull. Yay.

MIRACLEMAN: THE SILVERAGE #3 - Review

 

This is the one. This is the biggie. The 'Okay, what are you going to do Neil' moment. You have Buckingham’s art and Bellaire’s colors so it’s going to look stunning. You’ve taken the mantle of one of Moore’s Masterpieces and carried it forward gallantly…so far. But here we are, at the point of no return where you will make your mark and state the direction of this grand tale. Do not take this lightly Neil, we wait with bated breath. The cast is the same save for some new kids who are gently touched upon save for some redhead chick who apparently just wants to bang everyone. We just had a major smoocheroo moment between Double M and Little M where Big M wants to get Little Dicky into his Miracle Harem because, hmm, I suppose that even if you’re God Like you want what you can’t have. It’s nice to know that Comic Book Deities would probably get ghosted on a dating app, makes me feel better.

 

Before I get into what Sir Neil did with this issue I’d like to preface this all by saying I love me some Neil G, like for realz foreverrzz. Everything he touched turned to gold untillll The Sandman Netflix show. That Ambien substitute literally put me to sleep and his casting choices rankled me. Look, if you have existing material that fans have cherished close to their heart for decades and then you change the look of that material for no specific reason other than your whimsical fetish or cultural imperative then you have betrayed the trust of your fans. Period. I have ZERO issue with diverse casting/gender swap casting if it makes sense and the performance of that casting transcends the original by leaps and bounds. That’s not what happened here, it made a mockery of the existing material especially with Lucien who I adored in the comics. That casting right off the bat bit my balls every scene and I’m not really into nut play.

 

Look, if you have existing material but then are changing the world for a piece that exists prior to your existing material than you have every right to do whatever as you so please since the world has not been defined yet. I’m looking at you ‘Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power’. The diverse casting in that show was magnificently done and all the choices gave performances that uplifted the series to another level, especially Arondir; he was flat out brilliant. I also loved Princess Disa. Bottom line: The Non-Traditional Diverse casting for Sandman was jarring and a huge distraction. The Non Traditional Diverse casting for LOTR on Prime was seamless and amazing with stellar performances by each cast member. Just because you go a different way doesn’t mean it works. So lets just say that after the Sandman debacle Neil got a stink eye from me.

 

You open up the issue and even Marvisney is trumpeting the fact that it’s been TWENTY NINE YEARS since the story was left off. To put that into context, twenty-nine years ago Shawshank Redemption was released in theaters. Can you imagine if they were about to release a sequel to that masterpiece?  Well, actually the way Hollywood works I’m sure there’s been countless drafts submitted for that hypothetical project:

 

Studio Exec: Shawshank 2 huh? Okay, waddya boys got for me?

 

Writing Partner One: Okay, so, Andy and Red finish the boat, they sail off and end up in a Bermuda Triangle vortex that takes them back to a land of dinosaurs and instead of escaping from a prison they have to escape into a prison to be safe.

 

Writing Partner Two: When the Aliens attack the Avengers show up and Margot Robbie is Captain America, Spike Lee is the Hulk and Mayim Bialik is Iron Yenta. Look, it’s a bit far fetched but we’ve got to find a way to sell all this Iron Yenta Merch we have in stock. The bidet that goes ‘Oy’ after it shoots water is a Holiday Gift that’s begging to go viral’.

 

Studio Exec: Mayim is a terror on set with her allergy requests. But I like it!

 

Okay, so, this comic? Basically it’s pure blah. Dicky ends up in the Himalayas, gets picked up by a random hiker dude hiking to meet some former Double M enhanced hero at the top. On their way they meet a horny superhero purple haired babe and a huge Brotha with Storm hair on a high tech motorcycle. Dicky sits behind the purple hair chick and she grabs his hands and places them under her boobs. So, everybody wants to bang Dicky. Maybe that should be your new Netflix show: Everybody wants to Bang Dicky D and you can cast Cardi B as Dicky D and Steve Buscemi as the purple hair chick and CGI the Olsen Sisters as each one of her boobs.

 

What does Neil have against chicks with red or multi-colored hair, are they all just sluts? Why is there no outrage from the masses? Maybe if he draws a Blue Haired chick she’ll insist Dickie join her in a protest against capitalism and shove some impossible meat up his impeccable anus. Anyway –

 

They finally get to the top, Dickie has nightmares of Johnny who looks like Namor in a suit, the Dude they’re hiking to meet looks like Hagrid from Harry Pooper. He whines about how he was made a hero by Double M and didn’t like it. Boo frikkin Hoo. I’m supposed to care, why? We get three panels of MiracleMan in sum total. Johnny gets cast out of Dickie Dreamland and…that’s it? Dude.

 

Here’s a question to all the Comic Geeks out there? What’s great right now? Not, what’s really good what’s ‘Oh my goodness cannot wait have to read in seconds once I get it’ great? I look on the stands and see, well, all the amazing Black Label books have just ended. Saga is back but it kinda stumbled out of the gate a bit. A Vicious Circle was great but it’s only three issues and I think it’s gonna need a beyond amazing second issue to cement its greatness. THIS book is supposed to transcend the medium. THIS book is supposed to set the standard for comic books in 2023. THIS is the one that you cradle in your hands and smile after you’re done reading it.

 

Come on Sir Neil. I have faith. Bring it. Maybe take out the bit of some green haired pan sexual flight attendant who wants to have Dicky D suck her scuffled flight attendant shoes and just focus on the main characters? I’ll be here waiting for your masterpiece…while looking out my window to see if any Purple Haired Babes walk past, I mean, I am kinda horny.

 

Rating: 6.5   

Verdict: Pull

MIRACLEMAN: SILVER AGE #2 - Review

 

We’re back with the Miracle Shmiracle Gang! Now, at first I thought this was the big one. The one where Neil takes us off on his ‘this is what I’m going to do with this story and this is where I’m going to take it’ moment. I did not know this issue had already been published but with different layouts which they detailed in the backmatter. Again, I am just realizing this is a reprint but this is my first time reading this issue.

 

The comic is all ‘Dicky is the best woo hoo’ in the beginning and middle. He gets a ticker tape parade in Noo Yawk and a key to the city. He meets the Double M Gang of teens which includes some redhead chick who apparently just wants to fuck everyone. I’m not sure why Redheads aren’t raking Neil across the coals on social media for perpetuating an insulting stereotype that all Redheads are randy and ready to go. I once dated a Redhead. Once. She actually was randy and ready to go until we actually were in bed and ready to go and then said to me ‘There’s so much we can do without doing anything’. I wish I had Camera One pinned on my facial expression after that line, it was probably priceless.

 

The issue ends with biscuits and tea with MM at the end for a nightly chat. Prior to this chat we've had several intimate moments between Double M and his Miracle Babe Consort Chickadee about having to breach ‘the subject’ with Little M. We don’t know what this subject is but it keeps getting touched upon. Then, finally, after a neither here nor there issue steadily chugging along we get…

 

GAY SMOOCH??? SERIOUSLY??? Wow! I did not see that coming at all. Look, I have ZERO problems with gay smooches. Gay smooch wherever and with whomever you want anywhere you want, love is love. I was just taken aback that Double M wants Little M’s Little D. I don’t remember there being any electricity between these two, was there? Or is Double M like ‘Hey, I have 5000 kids. I bang who I want. Even a HeroGod wants what he can’t have and me rikey!

 

I can see Marvel initially balking at wanting to reprint issues of this series. I can see them going, ‘Why should we put out something that has already been done? We neverrrr do that. Let’s just get to the new stuff Neil-ah-roonkski. I can see Neil walking into his pitch to Marvel. He’s not only going to get them to reprint the stuff but he’s going to redo the layouts the way he wants and he's gonna put his stink on it. Neil probably sat down with a smirk and in his elegant accent said:

 

Miracle Dickie Bang Bang Smoocheroo

 

Marvel Comic suits heads explode. People come running in from the offices in wonderment, what’s going on in there. Gaiman says it again with even more gusto:

 

Miracle Dickie Bang Bang Smoocheroo

 

Even more heads explode! The floor starts shaking. Cracks form in the walls. West Hollywood erupts in a cacophony of orgasmic celebratory wails of delight. Rocco’s on San Vicente fills to gills with socialites and fashionistas dressed like Big M and Little M! Disney Execs board their underground tunnel shuttle that zips up from Anaheim to New York City is 15 minutes flat. By the time they reach Marvel’s Editorial Offices the Execs are all naked and in a state of jubilant exhaustion. On their way up the elevator they stop off in the mailroom and grab two or three male blonde interns, strip them down and drag them into the elevators. When the doors open to the top floor they triumphantly climb onto the intern’s buttocks, strap a harness over them and ride them like a White Horse into what’s left of the Boardroom where Neil is now levitating naked with the MiracleMan logo emblazoned on his chest. Fire shoots out of his eyes. His dong is doing 360 degree circles at an unimaginable speed. His voice thunders:

 

Miracle Dickie Bang Bang Smoocheroo

 

Sparks shoot out of the Disney Execs buttholes as they rocket off into the Manhattan night sky riding their naked blonde interns ‘Yee Haw! Ride that Little D Big M! Ride it!

 

Hey wait a minute. How old is MM? Like, late 30s, 40s? Yeah yeah I get it he’s beyond age and human attributes blah blah but really like how old? And Dicky D? Teens? Hmm. Is this even Kosher? Again, Gay Smooch wherever and with whomever you want…as long as they’re of legal and consenting age. I think that goes without saying for any ‘adult to kid smooch' no? Okay, sure, Dicky D wallops Double M and he goes flying out into the Cosmos but maybe we needed a little text before that ‘Double M, I’m 15’.

 

Look, was there ever any intimation or even a hint of this moment in previous issues? Like, am I missing something here? I don’t remember any panel or sequence where I remotely thought, ‘oh they’re into each other or Double M is into Double D’. Like, if there was and it was building to this moment I would be completely okay with it but there wasn’t. Were we to have assumed it? How? If this moment was a payoff from countless moments and issues then sure, great, we would have all been like ‘Yes! Finally! Pucker up and Smooch already!’

 

Wait a minute juuuust wayyyyt a minute here. Take a look at the cover! So you have Dicky D flying and waving in the parade and behind him is an enormous Miracle Man balloon that all but envelops Dicky D in the angle of the shot. The Miracle Balloon has a knowing smile. Looks like Dicky D is perfectly positioned for the Double M Balloon to have a little Naughty Parade Balloon fun. Come to think of it, maybe YM on Dicky's suit was given to him by MM but while Dicky thinks it means Young MiracleMan maybe MM thinks it means Young Manhole. Ah ha!

 

Aaaand who’s that waaay behind the Double M Balloon? Why it’s a Miracle Babe-ah-roo Balloon and she’s totally out of the picture. She’s like ‘You go Double M. Git that lil’ Hero Booty’.

 

Neil you randy devil you. Miracleloon Dickyball Bangershmiracle indeed.

Rating: 8.0

Verdict: Pull and find a Redhead

MIRACLEMAN: THE SILVER AGE #1

 

Miracleman! It’s a miracle that Alan Moore hasn’t trudged over half naked to Marvel’s offices and broken down the door with a sledgehammer demanding that all work on Miracleman cease immediately. Maybe he could track down Neil Gaiman half naked with a scythe and slash at the sanctimonious putz that he’s become in the past several months especially when it came to his Sand Dude show. For the record I have almost four pages of a review for ‘The Sandman’ show but couldn’t make my way past the halfway point, it was mind numbingly bad.

 

Basically what I’m asking for is for Alan Moore to begin terrorizing the comic book community. The thing that fell out of the sky in the new LOTR show looks a bit like Alan Moore. I wish that thing would tromp through every editorial office and shrill until all the mealy mouthed editors in the industry sleeked off into the Netherlands.

 

Alan Moore is the Shakespeare of the Comic Book Universe. You’re not going to improve upon anything that he’s done. It’s not possible. The Miracleman run of the 80s is one of the most mind blowing WTF are you kidding me wow comic book events of the century. It is the gold standard of alt-hero books and probably influenced every brilliant comic book creator of the past forty years. Gaiman’s run is nothing to sneeze at. If there was anybody who could take the reins for the book it could only be him and he did a bang up job so even with the threat of Alan Moore rattling my door I had to pick up the continuation of this series. Thing is, I’d forgotten most of it and there was no way I was going to a. dig through dozens of comic book boxes to find the older issues or b. pony up a sizable chunk of change to read the omni-mega-gargantuan-colossus-bus that they just popped out into stores.

 

First of all, I have to rip Marvel a new one for their #0 issue that preceded this one. I thought it would be somewhat of recap/refresh of the series to get me up to speed; it was nothing of the sort. It was one of those ‘Hey we’re gonna get a bunch of writers and artists together to write and draw a bunch of stuff about the character/story! None of it will be amazing. None of it will satisfy you. Thanks for the 5 Bux!’ Can we please have a moratorium on these writer/artist comic festivals where everyone contributes something? Comic books aren’t ‘We are the World’ songs. They’re not a short film festival. You put a dozen or so different writer/artist styles in book it just becomes a mish-mash where nobody is given enough time and nothing is memorable. Stop with the Comicbook Gang Bangs!

 

Anyway, this comic. Kid Miracleman wakes up in the Miracleman Parthenon of Miracle People and is retold his true story. That’s basically it. We get a bunch of Miracle kids which I assume are the offspring of Miracle’s nuts. Gaiman has to get the word ‘Diversity’ popped in by a character. I wonder if he goes to the coffee shop and says ‘Do you have a diverse flavor profile for your lattes?’ When he’s giving head does he go ‘There are a diverse amount of ways I could search for your nubby nub’ Does he look in the toilet and marvel at his diverse poop shapes?

 

Buckingham’s art is wonderful. Bellaire’s words are perfect. Despite any gripes I may have with the history of this book there’s no way I’m not inhaling every panel that gets put out there. Let’s hope Neil has a tremendous path he intends to take with the conclusion of this story otherwise I’ll have to find a diverse amount of adjectives to rip him a new one too.

 

Rating: 8.4

Verdict: Pull

NORSE MYTHOLOGY VOL. 3 #6 - Review

 

While everyone is obsessing over Gaiman’s ‘Sandman’ on Netflix (I am too, extensive knock and sock ‘em review forthcoming) his recent comic book offering has pretty much been swept under the rug which is a shame because it was a really entertaining series that just wrapped up. I’ve just read the final installment of the Norse Mythology run and I have to say I really enjoyed all of them.

 

Not sure if these are on anyone’s radar but they should be. Basically it’s illustrating the original Norse myths without censoring the material. There’s a lot murder, brutality, torture, backstabbing and revenge and no I’m not talking about what’s going on in our government right now, although I would love to hire Loki to pick off the nitwits in charge one by one.

 

Loki: Hi Nancy, I’m Loki, fancy some Mead?

Nancy: Does it have a kick?

Loki: Oh it kicks.

Nancy: Ooh, me mead some drinky drinky -

[she gulps down from a red plastic cup that will soon turn into a dragon]

Nancy (cont.): Don’t you work for The Mouse?

Loki: I did but now I work for a kvetchy Jew comic in LA who spoils his terrier more than you spoil your stock portfolio with insider tips.

 

Anyway, you get a look into the origins of such Norse Gods such as Odin, Loki and Thor. Add in the fact that you can get variant covers by the inimitable David Mack without having to chop your left nut off to get them and it’s a win win here. It’s more a fable comic than a superhero comic and with great artists such as Mike Mignola and P. Craig Russell the art is impeccable. In a way I feel like I’m getting the most entertaining history lesson as it pertains to these iconic beings. I’ve actually learned a few things along the way, go figure! Apparently Loki turned into a Salmon a lot to manage his escape. Is that where we get the word Lox? Was that his gangster nickname? Was it ever Bagel and Loks. Was his hip hop name Tone Loks? The kids are all saying ‘Low Key’ these days do they really mean Loki? Are they invoking his name for mischief and shenanigans? Low key, you know I’m right.

 

This was the third installment of six books for the series. Not sure why they just couldn’t number them 1-18? I guess a marketing guy rushed into a Dark Horse Monday Morning meeting frothing at the mouth and begged for three #1 issues instead of just one “Market Share, Collectibles, TPBs galore! Fresh New Run, Cocaine in my Portland Granola, pleaaaase”

 

You can knock one of these puppies out in about 7-10 minutes, a great little read to start your day with your coffee. It’s not earth shattering entertainment (well, it is in the story lines) but it’s solid enough and the creative team knocks it out of the park. The final issues detail the Ragnarok epic which is way different than the bubblegum tripe that the Marvel Cinematic Universe had the nerve to poop out recently. Go pick some up of these bad boys and enjoy!

 

Rating: 8.5

Verdict: Pull