ALL NIGHT & EVERY DAY - Review

 

And the winner of the award for Sexiest Cover of the past several years goes to…this cover! Mwwrawarrr. Yet like most sexy covers in La La Land once you peel it open you realize it’s a whole different ballgame:

 

Mmm, who’s that scintillating brunette in the black dress?

 

Several hours later you’re on the phone with your bestie:

 

‘Dude, this Daddy Issue Chick won’t leave my house and she’s drinking all my expensive almond milk!’

 

What I thought was going to be a sizzling steamy book of smooching and romance turned out to be some type of horror thingamajig. WTF? This is a horror book??? All Night. Every Day??? That’s like putting two Rabbis on a cover and then you open it up and it’s a story about Piglet’s new adventures. It’s like putting the Kardashians on the cover and opening it up to find a discourse on quantum mechanics. It’s like putting a Marvel Character on the cover and then you open it up and find out it’s a story that’s actually engaging. We have a serious disconnect here people!

 

If you saw this title on an R&B Music Chart wouldn’t you assume it’s about knocking dem boots (let’s bring that saying back mmkay). Oy, Aftershock, I’m shocked! Real quick, is it me or do the liquor bottles on the cover look as big as this dude’s leg. Like, either the perspective is out of whack or the party that they’re at has 3 gallon beer bottles.  

 

Sooo this comic is not about the stamina you’ll need between the sheets with a Red Head? Where’s Neil Gaiman? He thinks all Redheads are slutty nymphos. Maybe he bankrolled this project and insisted on the slutty redhead cover.

 

Shock: But it’s a horror book Neil.

 

Neil: But she’s a redhead. She’s randy, she’s ready to go. People need to be reminded.

 

Shock: It’s supposed to be a dangerous party where –

 

Neil: All Redheads know where the 4 foot Bottles of Cognac are. You know how dangerous a 4 foot bottle of Cognac is? She’s a randy naughty bird who’s deeply horrifying. Look at her!

 

 

Aftershock is calling it their ‘Aftershock One Shock’; since it’s a one-shot. Get it? Shot. Shock. Doy doy doy doy. Give the marketing guy a handy in the men’s room for his stroke of genius. Get it? Handy. Stroke of Genius? Doy Doy Doy. I can work at Aftershock’s marketing department. Looks like these guys have an office in Sherman Oaks. Maybe their new horror line is being inspired by the psycho homeless apocalypse that is now spilling over into Sherman Oaks from Studio City. Before you know it it’s going to be a human fecal museum on Ventura Blvd. Sherman Oaks was like the last stop in the valley on the way to ‘Dude it’s way too fucking hot to live here’ now it’s on it’s way to being Downtown LA North.

 

So the premise of this book is that the Randy Redhead had her boyfriend/fiancé skip out on her wedding; like he didn’t show up and disappeared. She hasn’t seen him since. R.R and her pretentious unlikable fuckwit friends decide to go to a party. The party turns out to be some Twilight Zone alternate dimension thing where people have been partying here for decades and haven’t been able to leave. You mean like, Hotel California? This is your horror book? Dude. Almost all the parties in LA feel like people have been partying at it for decades, especially the ones in the fancy houses. I literally get lost in Mansion parties or at houses in the Hills for hours. Every room is just another room of attractive uninterested plastic people that make you feel like you need to go to the gym or to a sweat lodge to purge the toxins that you inhaled from their exhales.

 

Anyway, so Red finds her dude, they bang near a bunch of skyscrapers that look like liquor bottles. They then decide to escape and every room they end up in is creepier and more debaucherous than the next one. They eventually end up in a room with Nazis! 

 

 

Well, that’s where they go wrong here. You may find deviant sick perverted dimwits in every party in La La Land but you won’t find Nazis. Nazis are never invited to fancy parties. You might find a few Nazis in a Van Nuys or Encino party, maybe one or two will be lurking in a Glendale party but in general they’re too busy torturing local politicians to be bothered with hitting on all the Michaelas and Amandas of the world.

Finally the couple ends up in a room where there’s some old guy with antlers on his head and a bunch of half naked muscular dudes with Cow Skulls on their heads. Things don’t end well for the wedding skipping boyfriend. 

 

This wacko with the antlers is like the Grand Architect of the party that never ends. Dude. There's like a dozen old wackos with antlers on their heads wandering around Mann's Chinese Theater and Venice Beach right now as I type this. It's a thing. I see about 10-20 posts on Next Door a week about some wacko Antler Guy stealing mail, wandering around naked in backyards, pooping on luxury vehicles; it's a thing.

So that’s your Horror? Dude who gets cold feet ends up in an endless party where he gets tortured by men with cow skulls on their heads? Really? What about women who skip out on weddings? My ex-fiance gave me back my engagement ring, twice! So should she end up at one of these places? I would hope not. You know what would be truly terrifying, especially here in LA? If your curse was that every time you showed up to a party everyone left. How about that? That would be waaaay worse. 

 

You want to curse me and my not responding to you as a match on my dating app after I scrutinized your Insta page and realized you had way too many tats and pictures of you in face diapers for my liking? The most horrifying curse for me would be having to always wait three lights for only two cars in front of me to take a left turn in the left turn lane. How about that AfterShockaLocka? Let’s call it ‘All Left Lanes. Every Yellow Light’ Put that out from your Poop Castle in Shoaks. That story will send half the people in LA to a therapy session in minutes!

 

Ray Fawkes, the Writer, said in an interview that this isn’t just a comic, “It’s an Escape Manual”. An escape from what Ray? An LA Party? If you wanna escape an LA Party all you have to do is say ‘I’m looking for representation’ you’ll find your way outside on the curb quicker than you can say ‘Thirsty’.

 

I appreciate the fact that the creators of this book were trying to incorporate a complicated love relationship gone bad into a vortex of an endless party disaster. It’s not a wholly bad idea it’s just that I didn’t give two shites about any of these characters. So the dude is an asshole but is the chick that much better? Like why does she get out alive and he doesn’t? Maybe he had a good reason to not marry this girl?

 

Neil: Well of course he had a reason! She’s a randy Redhead! She’s an insufferable insatiable ninny who will haunt your afterlife! MiracleMan won’t even bang a RedHead, he knows better!

 

Okay Neil, we get it. No more One Shockadelicas for me. You want to shock the world Aftershock? Walk outside of your offices on Ventura Blvd and start filming. Don’t stop until you’ve walked all the way into Studio City and then lift up both of your shoes to see how much poop you’ve picked up. Now that will shock the world.

 

Rating: 6.1

Verdict: Knockin’ Dem Boots is still a sexy phrase

CHICKEN DEVILS #2 - Review

It’s fuh-reezing here in LA. Yeah, yeah I don’t wanna hear from you bozos where it’s snowing and negative etcetera degrees. You signed up for that shit. You secretly enjoy it as it you mutter in smoky exhales of sub zero breath that it ‘builds your character’ as the cold freezes your face that’s forgone the use of skin care products for the past decade plus. You revel in the combative elements of a rough winter as you feel it steels your soul and your resolve to face not only the gusty winds outside of your doors but the winds that whip your thoughts of a better life in a frenzy. ‘Ha Ha!’ you guffaw lustily to the Freeze Meister, those pansy ass Angelenos wouldn’t last a lick in these frigid climes; what a bunch of pussies. You would be correct in that assertion. I wouldn’t last because I wouldn’t be there in the first place.

 

See I opted for 70 in January with the option of a scarf should it dip down to 65 at night. I traded in my snow shovel for a blue corn chip shoveling freshly made guac in between my moistened un-chapped lips. I traded in my space heater for a hummingbird feeder. I traded in my ‘You survived the elements’ badge of honor for ‘You found a parking spot at the Whole Foods in Weho between 1-2pm’ badge of honor. While you’re scraping ice off of your car I’m sitting on my steps in 77 degree weather with my hand down my loose sweatpants fondling my balls as I yell to my doggie to stop shitting on the neighbors freshly manicured lawn that has sprinklers running 24/7. What I did not sign up for is blizzard warnings, 45 degrees at noon and the possibility of flash floods over the weekend. But that’s what we’re getting.

 

What all this means is that after a hearty week of maniacally running around this expansive sprawl I finally have time to nestle in and catch up on some reading and what better comic to dive back in first with than a title from my Top 10 of 2022: Chicken Devil. Well, now it’s called Chicken Devils although it should just be Chicken Devil #6 but you know the drill, look at this fresh new #1 issue we have for this hot new series, oooh. Can you imagine if Stan Lee back in the 60s was bit by this ridiculous idea that ‘people buying comics only want #1 issues’ We’d have a gazillion stops and starts of amazing story lines from the great Marvel Heroes. It would be impossible to develop their mythos amidst such insanity and yet here we are dropping #1 issues like Taylor Swift drops corny AF commercial spots every 15 minutes.

 

Anyway, the story has pivoted to where the cops, who were tracking down the mob murders of our Hot Chicken Makin’ Russian Gang Bakin’ Hero, are now teamed up with the reluctant Chicken Man to go full out vigilante and eradicate the Gangs of LA. This is all well and good if there were actual gangs in LA that were wreaking havoc everywhere you looked. Fact of the matter is it’s not the 90s anymore where the color of your shirt can get you offed, now LA is basically run by the Mob or The Cartel so all the rival biker gangs or ethnic scummy gangs depicted in this book really aren’t a thing; but they make for a fun chicken wing a ding ding.

 

The best part of the issue is when the cops and the Chicken go to ‘Haute Yoga’ to take out two rival gangs that are using the space as a meetup. First of all, I would love to go to a yoga studio called Haute Yoga! Where is it? Dude, you guys not only need to make a pop-up for this Chicken Spot in this comic but a Haute Yoga spot as well. I feel like Yoga Studios in LA have gotten grungier and less bougie. People are now just wandering in as if they woke up from a nap or are about to crawl into bed after a long day. Used to be you got, well women got, a little dressed up for a yoga class. There’d be cute little yoga outfits and accoutrements and cute little yoga hair ties and yoga footwear. Even the yoga mats were all sexily patterned or they’d have psychedelic kombucha recipes written on the mat in Sanskrit. So yeah, hook that up Aftershock.

 

Look, this comic isn’t breaking down walls or transforming the industry but as stated before, the tone and execution is being masterfully crafted by Bucellatto and company. It’s wacky and yet somehow grounded at the same time which is a tough feat to accomplish. If I could place a bet in Vegas on which current comic will make it first to a streaming platform I would say this one. It already takes place in LA, the locations are easy peasy and the casting is diverse enough to satisfy the pokiest of the wokiest.

 

I mean, it would be nice if I could just binge the first season of Chicken Devil right now since I’m clearly going nowhere this weekend due to all that wet stuffy chill thing that’s happening outside. What do you nimrods who enjoy shoveling snow while your nuts climb into your rectum to stay warm call it? Wehhh, something, wehh dirt, no, wehh, umm oh, Weather! Yeah, fuck that weather thing, please take back your ‘character’ and leave me and my pussified blood alone.

 

Rating: 8.5

Verdict: Pull

THE BEST COMIC BOOKS OF 2022

                  THE BEST COMIC BOOKS OF 2022

Why are all ‘Best Of’ lists a Top 10? Or Top 25? Top 100? Are you not allowed to have a list that doesn’t equate into denominations of 10s and 5s? I always wonder, are they squeezing stuff in to make it an even 25 or are they leaving a bunch out and if they are leaving a bunch out why not just extend the frikkin’ list???

Well, my Best Of List will be a Top 12 mmkay? Problem??? Nothing was left off, nothing was squeezed in these are legitimately the best Comics that I read all year. 2022 was the year of ‘One and Done's’. I don’t remember pulling so many first issues and trashing them before I got to issue 2.

I pulled 185 comics this year down from 250 last year and down from about 300 five years ago. So I’ve basically lost 10 titles a year which I would say is a direct reflection of the miserable direction Marvisney is headed coupled with the new norm of long layoffs between arcs of successful books and more and more shorter series. Look at all the books I’ve reviewed. Almost all of the are issues 1-4 or 5, maybe 6. Seems like creators are given shorter leashes and the market is being inundated with titles that are looking to stick to the wall like spaghetti.

What does that mean for comic geeks? It’s just like anything these days. They will over saturate your options to the point where you’ll have no choice but to pick up something. I mean, one of these new series has to be good right? Well, I’m not looking for good. I’m not interested in ‘myneh, that was okay’. I want great. I want ‘ooh, blank just dropped a new issue, yes!’ The comics below all fit the bill. As the guy from the Insta Account of ‘LA in a Minute’ would say “Let’s get into it!’

 

12. Defenders (2022) - This old school cosmic dimensional hopping mishmash team-up by Al Ewing & Javier Rodriguez brought back all the feels of those mind bending Marvel acid trips comics of the 60s and 70s. In a year of Marvisney misfires this one hit the mark dead center. Speaking of Marvisney, honorable mention to Daredevil (2022) which has been consistently great for years but has unfortunately gone downhill as of late. 

 

11. Chicken Devil - Nothing special about the plot but something special about the execution. This fast food co-owner/ average Joe/family guy pushed to the brink by the Russian Mob over a drug deal misunderstanding was a splatter fest that was spicy enough to stay on everyone's pull. In a year where you wanted to go out into public and go ballistic I'm sure we all now wonder if wearing a Chicken Suit will help us get away with it. How this is not a Streaming TV Show by now is beyond me.

 

 

10. Love Everlasting - Love! Romance! A time traveling   saga, a heartbreaking mess. Gimme Gimme Gimme. More Love! I love me some wooing and some smooch smooching and Tom King and new art superstar Elsa Charretier delivered the goods. I’m fascinated by what the hell is going on even though I don’t know what the hell is going on with Joan and all these dudes who either wanna kill her or marry her but I must find out. After Tom King’s triple time-lined Batman/Catwoman debacle he bounced back with this heart thumping winner. Grab it and demand more smooches and lovey dovey stuff in comics.

 

9. Pearl III - Michael Gaydos should probably get an Artist of the Year Award. What's next Mr. G? I will follow you anywhere you go. Bendis kept upping the ante on this phenomenal Yakuza Tat Artist Boss Babe story for three arcs in a row. The final installment of this series had enough twists and eye popping layouts to satisfy even the hardest of hardcore Tattoo Yakuza Frisco Tokyo Petite Albino Bad Ass lovers out there. A Streaming Show HAS to be on its way soon. If not, umm, hello? Stream. My TV. Soon.

 

8. Robin & Batman - I was super psyched when I saw that Lemire/Nguyen, the same team behind the perfectly done Descender/Ascender series, were doing a Robin Batman series and they did not disappoint. A unique twist on the Robin origin story that might bring a few tears to your eyes if you’re not careful. As for other great Batman books this year Honorable mention to White Knight by Sean Murphy and One Dark Knight by Jock which brought a rock em sock em Gotham black out tale to an electric life.

 

7. Echolands - J.H. Williams III and W. Haden Blackman literally turned the comic world on its side and created a horizontal book filled with all the amazing layouts you’ve come to crave since they dropped them in the classic New 52 Batwoman series. The story is nothing to write home about but the visual style blender is so visually holy fuckamoley good you don’t care. Plus the reveal of his insane vinyl collection in the back that provided the soundtrack to the creation of the book will probably make you cry over the piddly vinyl collection you just started recently.

 

6. King Conan (2022) - The Best Conan story in like forever. Probably the best since Brian Wood’s epic Dark Horse run. An emotional gut punch of a Father Son story paired with a ‘You have to team up with your mortal arch enemy Wizard wack job to defeat an island of zombies’ story. Leave it to Marvisney to screw everything up and cancel not only this series but Conan completely. Crom willing Titan Publishing will get it right when it starts Conan back up next year. In the meantime this is a six issue Conan run that will stand the test of time.

 

5. The Good Asian - A riveting Chinatown Detective story that overflowed with heart, history and heat. There was nothing like this series on the racks before, during and probably won't be anything like it long after the trades come out. What really made this series extra special was all the backmatter that included so many great interviews and historical references from those who experienced this part of America. It really rounded this book into an experience not to be missed.

4. Primordial - Sniffle. This one got me good. If you’re a doggie owner good luck in not bawling at the finale of this space traveling time bending tale. My goodness, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall at this pitch meeting with Jeff Lemire ‘Two monkeys and a doggie in an inter-dimensional spaceship come home’ What??? GTFO. I’m not sure my Diva Doggie would’ve done well on this ship. She barely handles being stuffed like a pocketbook underneath an airline seat. 

 

 

 

3. Step by Bloody Step  - A book with no translatable dialogue. Instead it gave you so many beautiful haunting indelible images you realized that words would have just mucked up the genius. There are moments in this series that still stay with me months after I put it down. A truly unique tale. I won’t even begin to try and describe the story just grab the trade, take a seat and let this gorgeous work take you away on a fantastic journey.
 

 

 

 

2. Aquaman: Andromeda - Wait, an Aquaman book was better than all the other Batman books I read this year? Yes. Yes it was. Ram V and Christian Ward were a masterful duo that dragged you down to the depths of their combined genius and dared you to want to leave. Christian Ward is a beast when it comes to colors and his signature artistic style was made for this ‘Crew seeks out crashed Alien Ship’ tale. Ram V’s Aquaman was mystical, mysterious and deeply human. I was enthralled by every single page. A truly majestic perfectly woven story. Wow.

 

 

1. Catwoman: Lonely City - What if a villain, way past her prime, gets released from jail and tries to recapture her past glory while solving the mystery of her lover/rival? This was the alternative universe born out of the brilliant mind of Cliff Chiang who found the perfect future self for a host of villains including Poison Ivy, Killer Croc (who looked like a goombah in a Lower East Side bar. Of course he was a Mets fan lol) and the Riddler; all a little creakier and paunchier and all a lot more sympathetic. The finale was masterfully done with dire consequences for all. This was a triumph in every aspect of the medium and Chiang better have multiple books coming out in 2023.

Okay. I said Top 12. But I HAVE TO mention one of the greatest comic books I've ever experienced. An over the top Wow Fest. A Most Honorable and High Exalted Mention of the Year goes to...

 

 

Wonderwoman: Historia - Due to it’s protracted release schedule from last year to the end of this year (final issue just came out this week) it’s hard to call this 3 issue series a true 2022 comic; but oh what a comic it is. Actually this wasn’t really a comic, it was an event. I mean, I’ve never seen anything like this before. An Epic Deified Origin Story that laid waste to all epic origin stories that came before it. It harkened back to the spectacular Azzarello/Chiang Wonder Woman run of the New 52 a decade prior where The Gods were an integral part of the story and just blew the whole thing to the heavens and beyond. My God. Read this. A truly jaw dropping work by Kelly Sue DeConnick and three dazzling artists.

2022 was the year DC Black Label knocked it out of the fucking park. A complete moon shot, with titles I would never in a million years purchase let alone at the price points that they had them at. Yet with the talent they put together plus the stories and sublime art that poured into the pages of this holy moly triumvirate, this imprint went above and beyond what any Comic Geek could hope for. Take notes Marvel! Not to be outdone, Image continues to pump out eye blazing books month after month, year after year. Just get BKV and Staples back on their desks please and keep them there? Let's not have Saga go until 2087 mmmkay?

That’s it people!  Thanks for coming along or popping in every now and then to this page. I’m having a lot of fun with it and I see no reason to stop ranting and raving about these little mags filled with sequential art and words. In a world and time where the big things seem so much larger than they are, it’s the little things that remind you to take a breath, pull up a chair, and let your imagination run free.

As Billy Ray Valentine said in Trading Places: Merry New Year!

 


 



 

CHICKEN DEVILS #1 - Review

What am I thankful for? I’m thankful for great comic books that make me forget about the world for a brief moment in time. I’m thankful that I haven’t succumbed to buying 100 mediocre Batman Titles even though I love Batman. I’m thankful that DC has the balls to put out amazing Black Label books that burst with creativity. I’m thankful that Marvel has saved me so much money every month by not enticing me to buy almost everything they put out. I’m thankful that I completely lost track of the Marvel MCU Phase thingy and what’s coming up and what’s connected to what film that I can completely ignore all of them and phase them out of my existence. I’m thankful for wacky off the wall out of the box comics that remind me why comics are great in the first place.

 

One of those great comics was Pearl which just wrapped up it’s final issue this past month. It was solid, not necessarily spectacular. It went out with a twist of a bang and a yearning for Bendis to keep churning more Pearl stories out. I can definitely see Pearl as a streaming show although what you’d lose is the eye popping wowza art of Michael Gaydos who has cemented himself as a Titan of the industry. Another great wacky off the wall comic of the year has been…Chicken Devil.

 

If you haven’t read the first arc of Chicken Devil you’re missing out. Yeah, it’s nothing unbelievably original: regular guy running a fast food hot chicken joint has a business partner involved in drugs with the Russian Mob. Murders, explosions and mayhem ensues with regular guy pushed to the brink. We’ve seen it all before. What we haven’t seen is a Hot Chicken guy in LA dressed in a full on Chicken Body Suit going on a revenge spree that includes outsmarting and beating the Russian Mob. It was written and drawn to perfection and totally has TV show written all over it if you ask me. There’s family drama. There’s chicken recipes and chicken menus. How is this place not a Pop Up in LA already? I don’t even do the hot chicken thing but I would to pay my respects to this series…as long as its not on the West Side or in Silverlake/Echo Park. West Side is a pain in the ass to drive to and Silverlake/Echopark has third world country roads that wreaks havoc on my classic car. Just open up in WeHo or Melrose District like normal pop ups and save me the aggravation.

 

Anyway, the second installment ‘Chicken Devils’ dropped and issue one is basically all set-up, but what a set-up it is. We get an Albanian Bike Gang, a marriage on the rocks and a couple of LAPD Detectives ready to don some fucking hot chicken outfits and take down the crime element of La La Land. PLEASE let this be real! I think LA is at the point where if I see a bunch of Chicken Suit people running after thieves and murderers in LA with AK’s and machetes I’d finally feel like something is getting done here to tackle the crime. If you ask me, I think an army of Chicken Suit Vigilantes is exactly what this city needs. New York had the Guardian Angels back in the 80s. LA needs the Chicken Devils. I wanna see Chicken Suit people patrolling the streets and chasing down assholes that do donuts in the middle of the street with their unregistered stolen cars. I wanna see Chicken Suit dudes and dudettes running after every and anyone who’s been getting away with whatever they want because this pathetically run city refuses to do anything about it.

 

You know I’m right and that it would be a global phenomenon. Hot Chicken People save Los Angeles. My goodness. Now THAT, would be something everybody who loves this city could be thankful for.  When a comic book has what it takes to save an enormous metropolitan city from itself that’s a comic book worth supporting.

 

Rating: 9.0

Verdict: Pull