Thursday, February 23, 2023

CHICKEN DEVILS #2 - Review


It’s fuh-reezing here in LA. Yeah, yeah I don’t wanna hear from you bozos where it’s snowing and negative etcetera degrees. You signed up for that shit. You secretly enjoy it as it you mutter in smoky exhales of sub zero breath that it ‘builds your character’ as the cold freezes your face that’s forgone the use of skin care products for the past decade plus. You revel in the combative elements of a rough winter as you feel it steels your soul and your resolve to face not only the gusty winds outside of your doors but the winds that whip your thoughts of a better life in a frenzy. ‘Ha Ha!’ you guffaw lustily to the Freeze Meister, those pansy ass Angelenos wouldn’t last a lick in these frigid climes; what a bunch of pussies. You would be correct in that assertion. I wouldn’t last because I wouldn’t be there in the first place.

 

See I opted for 70 in January with the option of a scarf should it dip down to 65 at night. I traded in my snow shovel for a blue corn chip shoveling freshly made guac in between my moistened un-chapped lips. I traded in my space heater for a hummingbird feeder. I traded in my ‘You survived the elements’ badge of honor for ‘You found a parking spot at the Whole Foods in Weho between 1-2pm’ badge of honor. While you’re scraping ice off of your car I’m sitting on my steps in 77 degree weather with my hand down my loose sweatpants fondling my balls as I yell to my doggie to stop shitting on the neighbors freshly manicured lawn that has sprinklers running 24/7. What I did not sign up for is blizzard warnings, 45 degrees at noon and the possibility of flash floods over the weekend. But that’s what we’re getting.

 

What all this means is that after a hearty week of maniacally running around this expansive sprawl I finally have time to nestle in and catch up on some reading and what better comic to dive back in first with than a title from my Top 10 of 2022: Chicken Devil. Well, now it’s called Chicken Devils although it should just be Chicken Devil #6 but you know the drill, look at this fresh new #1 issue we have for this hot new series, oooh. Can you imagine if Stan Lee back in the 60s was bit by this ridiculous idea that ‘people buying comics only want #1 issues’ We’d have a gazillion stops and starts of amazing story lines from the great Marvel Heroes. It would be impossible to develop their mythos amidst such insanity and yet here we are dropping #1 issues like Taylor Swift drops corny AF commercial spots every 15 minutes.

 

Anyway, the story has pivoted to where the cops, who were tracking down the mob murders of our Hot Chicken Makin’ Russian Gang Bakin’ Hero, are now teamed up with the reluctant Chicken Man to go full out vigilante and eradicate the Gangs of LA. This is all well and good if there were actual gangs in LA that were wreaking havoc everywhere you looked. Fact of the matter is it’s not the 90s anymore where the color of your shirt can get you offed, now LA is basically run by the Mob or The Cartel so all the rival biker gangs or ethnic scummy gangs depicted in this book really aren’t a thing; but they make for a fun chicken wing a ding ding.

 

The best part of the issue is when the cops and the Chicken go to ‘Haute Yoga’ to take out two rival gangs that are using the space as a meetup. First of all, I would love to go to a yoga studio called Haute Yoga! Where is it? Dude, you guys not only need to make a pop-up for this Chicken Spot in this comic but a Haute Yoga spot as well. I feel like Yoga Studios in LA have gotten grungier and less bougie. People are now just wandering in as if they woke up from a nap or are about to crawl into bed after a long day. Used to be you got, well women got, a little dressed up for a yoga class. There’d be cute little yoga outfits and accoutrements and cute little yoga hair ties and yoga footwear. Even the yoga mats were all sexily patterned or they’d have psychedelic kombucha recipes written on the mat in Sanskrit. So yeah, hook that up Aftershock.

 

Look, this comic isn’t breaking down walls or transforming the industry but as stated before, the tone and execution is being masterfully crafted by Bucellatto and company. It’s wacky and yet somehow grounded at the same time which is a tough feat to accomplish. If I could place a bet in Vegas on which current comic will make it first to a streaming platform I would say this one. It already takes place in LA, the locations are easy peasy and the casting is diverse enough to satisfy the pokiest of the wokiest.

 

I mean, it would be nice if I could just binge the first season of Chicken Devil right now since I’m clearly going nowhere this weekend due to all that wet stuffy chill thing that’s happening outside. What do you nimrods who enjoy shoveling snow while your nuts climb into your rectum to stay warm call it? Wehhh, something, wehh dirt, no, wehh, umm oh, Weather! Yeah, fuck that weather thing, please take back your ‘character’ and leave me and my pussified blood alone.

 

Rating: 8.5

Verdict: Pull

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