How much set-up can one story have??? We’re in Issue 4 of the Fist vs the Hand and it’s been one extended fist/hand story jerk off with zero lube. What am I reading, Dr. Zhivago with Halloween costumes? It’s a comic book not a Jane Austen novel for goodness sake! I just sped through this issue because, well, it’s quick and fluffalicious and I’m still not getting a Fist vs the Hand anything. I had to put the comic down and pop-lock for a few minutes with Electric Boogaloo in the background so I could get my fists and hands involved. I then popped on Vogue by Madonna to get all the hands and fists out of my system since Daredevil couldn’t deliver.
Here’s the deal, I feel like they could’ve put everything that they’ve had in the past four issues into one comic, there was no need to draw (no pun intended) this out so long. Is this an editorial decision? Was Chip like, ‘Hey I have a great 5 issue Fist Hand story’ and Marvel suits grabbed him by his nuts in the steam room and said ‘No you don’t Zdarsky! No you don’t! You have a 12 issue Fist Hand Story! 12! Fucking Tuhhhh-wellllve’ and then did they get real handy with him? Is that where all the writers have to go to pitch their series? The steam room where they can’t really see the suits and their 4 issue stories get turned into 10-12 issues, a movie, a Disney show and a Kabuki play for the elites at Bohemian Grove?
Daredevil was, maybe is, not sure, the only great thing coming out of Marvel comic book offices. Maybe Zdarsky was done. He got a call from Fraction on a great new spinoff of Sex Criminals and was ready to bounce when Beelzebub cornered him the Marvel Cafeteria with Taiki Waikikidiki and told him in no uncertain MJ terms ‘Your butt is mine’. Let’s go save Chip! Who’s with me? Actually scratch that, the traffic on the 110 to the 134 to Burbank is more brutal than watching CNN for more than five minutes. Chip you’re on your own.
I just read, and this has been out for longer than I knew, that Disney is bringing back the original cast of the greatest Hero TV show in the history of the Universe: Netflix’s Daredevil. I have so many mixed emotions about this: Wildly thrilled and deeply pessimistic. Is it possible that Disney could leave the creative team alone and let them work their gritty, intense, spellbinding magic? Or will they smear their Disney anus on each and every script and table read until the entire production ends up like a goofier version of She Hulk?
For goodness sake, I just want great Marvel content, how hard can this be??? Why does everything feel so cheap and greasy??? It’s like street meat tacos at 3am wrapped up in a shiny spandex wrapper. You go ‘ooh what’s that’, eat it and then have to reach up your butt with both hands to wring your intestines until every morsel is out of your system lest you end up looking like Mickey Rourke.
And yes, there was a game changing moment between Hornhead & Elektra at the end but in my opinion I don't feel the moment was necessarily earned. Anyway, this comic just hit a speed bump for the first time ever which is ironic since it’s spinning its wheels and going nowhere fast. I’ll be back but if someone out there wants to start a GoFundMe for Zdarsky’s rescue let me know and I’ll throw in a couple shekels.
Rating: 7.0
Verdict: #SaveDardevilandZdarsky
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