Marketing. It’s everywhere. It’s insidious. It’s pervasive. Our lives sometimes feel like we’re the product in the product placement; a data bullseye for the world of cost benefit paralysis. Comic books have always been filled with ads. You had to love those muscle ads that showed a scrawny nerd getting sand kicked in his face at the beach or the cheap plastic army ads from the 60s and 70s. Marvel always had tons of ads for its toys and it’s shows, whatever, no biggie. Comics have been intertwined with movies and video games yadda yadda so yeah, I get when a suit in a comic book office is like ‘Hey we can sell this AND this…at the same time!’ and other suits get a little duck butter in their pants.
I’ve always been of the mind of ‘Look, as long as you’re up front about what you’re doing and what you’re selling then it’s up to me if I want in or not’. What rankles me is when I realize ‘Hey I’ve just been sold, this was just a sales a pitch’. This attitude does not work well in dating apps since nothing is up front or real and you have zero idea who’s selling what or what they’re selling, if they’re even selling or if there’s even something to sell.
So this comic? A big sales pitch framed as a comic book. Seriously Dark Horse?
I absolutely loved Mind MGMT the series. It was a mind bending brilliant story of psychic espionage that encapsulated the world with eclectic bizarro characters that Matt Kindt spun perfectly amidst his fuzzy artistic style. It was a tour de force. So when I saw this ‘Bootleg’ thing come up I got pumped ‘Sweet, Mind MGMT is back, gimme gimme’ Little did I realize it was going to turn into a turd story designed to get you to buy a board game for 60 bux. Now, the game might be a dazzling table pursuit but don’t wrap me up in a comic tease about getting a coherent well developed Mind MGMT story when clearly this was all about a holiday stocking stuffer. I feel stuffed with Marketing energy. Blecch. Dark Horse, wtf?
I bought the variant issue for the final 4th issue. Eight bux. It included a card for the game. I didn’t realize that every issue had a variant that had a card for the game. So you could pay 32 bux to have the right to pay another 60 bux, yee haw. This is the card I got:
It’s supposed to be the best card in the game. Great. That’s like saying you have a super duper get her to respond to your message bomb diggity dating powerup for a dating app that you’ve just deleted. Of course you’re going to think, hmm, that chick with the big tucchus in Encino who ghosted me, maybe I could use this! Of course I’m googling the game because well, marketing works duh, and blah blah how do you play it and are these my own thoughts or a suit's thoughts, blecch. Maybe this was what Mind MGMT the series was all about: A slow slow marketing campaign for a boardgame. Maybe it was always about the boardgame! As far as the comic itself, I mean, it gets gruesomely bad.
The Psychic Kids end up on an island to take down Mr Hyde and his disinformation memes. Instead of commandeering a speedboat and venturing out on a King Kongish mission they just could’ve flown coach to Silicon Valley and tracked down Zuckerberg’s clone instead (what is that thing that says he’s Mark, serious skinjob creepies).
When the kids get to the island everyone is involved in a torturous masked sexcapade, an animalistic bacchanalia. One of the kids is then apprehended and taken to the dais where Mr. Hyde (who looks like the Gay Thief from the Black Flamingo comic that just came out) stands in front of his grinning cat meme.
He then proceeds to slice her throat open. Umm what? Are we on Epstein’s island? Did Matt go to Epstein’s island or did the entire editorial staff of Dark Horse go? Is this their big reveal? Their Kubrick Eyes Wide Shut moment? I’m floored. What happens next is predictable, kids find Gay Flamingo, win, island burns, back to one. Nice little reveal in the last panel but so what, the back inside cover is what it’s really about…60 bux baybee, buy me buy me!
Look, during the lockdown insanity I went to a friends house who had a real social life and we played board games, it was great. One of the games I discovered is this game called ‘Ticket to Ride’ it’s highly addictive and fun, I highly recommend it. Well, my friend became one of the many many friends in my life who moved out of LA because it’s become an absolute shithole run by a bunch of incompetent nitwits. When she moved so did game night. So I got it in my head, man, that ticket to ride was great. I should get it. So I bought it at Target. Yay!
/pic38668.jpg)
It’s been sitting unopened in my living room for months. Nobody’s coming over for game night. Nobody wants to. They’re too busy figuring out which state to escape to. I know a few who escaped to Portland. Listen, break into Dark Horse and demand that they send me the boardgame for the mental anguish I’ve endured by reading this fekukhta (Yiddish for crappy) mini-series that should have been called Marketing MGMT: 60 Buckaroonskis. It can sit next to my other unopened boardgame. Maybe I can give this Boardgame card to the cute Whole Foods employee next time I see her. Tell you what Dark Horse. If I give my 8 buck variant card to the Whole Foods employee and she gives me her insta so I can send my DMs to the vortex of her indifference then I'll give you a pass, deal?
Rating: 6.0
Verdict: Have $60 on hand before purchasing.
No comments:
Post a Comment