Friday, October 21, 2022

BATMAN: ONE BAD DAY - TWO FACE #1 - Review


I don’t get this Batman series. It’s called ‘One Bad Day’ but none of the stories so far happen in a day and the entire series doesn’t happen in a day. There’s nothing intensely or oddly different about any of these ‘Villain Centric’ stories other than them being standard Bat fare. It would be like if you went to a restaurant and it was their ‘Seafood Delight Night’ yet the menu had the same ol’ burger and chicken finger nonsense on it but ooh, look, salmon and a shrimp cocktail!

 

It would be like if you were a perv looking for kinky fetishy stuff and the site was ‘One Kinky Fetishy Pervy Day’ and it was nothing but air brushed playmates holding a riding crop while angling their perfect backlit areolas in a stable. That being said the first installment by Tom King featuring the Riddler was actually really good, but see, this series is a bullpen game. There’s no Starting Pitcher you’re just bringing a reliever in every inning or so and praying that you can get to the end of the game without one crapping the bed. Well, there’s a heaping pile of dung on my satin comic book sheets.

 

Spoiler, Two Face murders his Dad. Feeds him some birthday cake at a gala, his face bubbles up, makes him look like Two Face for a second and then he dies. Of course Bats gets there a bit too late. Two Face is back in jail. That could’ve been popped into one of those old school Hostess Cupcake ads that Marvel used to run in the back pages of their comics way back in the day. Everything else in here was rehashed Two Face retread, “He’s really a good guy! There’s a good man somewhere in there! He helped us once! He can’t be trusted! He’s a loose cannon” Oh fer fuck’s sake are we talking about Kanye or Two Face?!? Mariko, give me something, anything new. I paid 8 bux for this nonsense. All I got was two comic books worth of bubkes. More pages does not equal more comic book joy.

 

Another gripe, what the hell happened to Batgirl’s costume? I’m all for the Purple Goodness but what is this black mask covering her mouth? She looks like Bane’s sister. Is this for the Rona? Did she have to get a squeegee shoved up her nose before she could hang around Bats? She looks ridiculous. Also, Twofer’s 88 year old Dad looks like he’s a 50 year old umpire that just made a horrible check swing call. Was that your call Javier? Speaking of which, the one saving grace of this book is the art by Javier Fernandez and the constantly brilliant coloring by Jordie Bellaire. It’s a beautiful journey through the pages. Shame.

 

Do the Bats People at DC just drop a pound of coke on their boardroom table, shape it into the Bat Symbol and inhale it while coming up with dozens of ideas for Bat Books. Bats in a Spaceship! Bats in a Reality Show! Bats in Ukraine and a Zelensky Photo Op! Bats and Joey Boombats at Katzes and Steve Maetz shows up! My suggestion, pull back on the Bats y’all. I mean seriously, do we need 50 monthlies of Bat stuff?

 

So now Penguin is up next and I already pulled it. Yeesh. One Bad Day? Indeed. One Bad Day reading another Bad Bat Book.

 

Rating: 6.0

Verdict: Drop

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