October '23 Reading Round Up & The Streaming Solution

 

Living in La Land these days is challenging to say the least, with the entertainment industry taking a serious nose dive with the debilitating strikes, homeless zombies and tents everywhere, prices soaring, traffic congesting and a general feeling of blecch. Hey, at least I can walk outside and bask in the glory of a pristine blue sky and 80 degrees during November. The city may be turning into a cross between Walking Dead and Escape from New York but at least we're not freezing our asses off! Although, I would argue that when it dips below 60 most Angelenos are freezing their asses off.

I've been ranting on my social media about the Actors Strike and how I feel that SAG is a bloated out of touch mafia organization that should be completely dismantled and reduced to rubble. Having 90% of its membership either out of work or not making enough (25k a year) to qualify for health insurance is unconscionable. It's not like this is anything new or that streaming caused these numbers, it's always been this way. How on earth is a Union allowed to exist when 90% of its members make bubkes or don't even work? If this was a Tony Soprano led Union you know damn well he'd be making sure his Goombahs were all hooked up and provided with copious amounts of Gabagool.

 

So with all this time on my hands I've been able to contemplate the mechanics that make up the entertainment world and I had a moment of enlightenment the other day regarding streaming services the other day: We need them to operate like comic books do.

Right now everybody has got a plus, plus this plus that blah blah blah. So you sign up for all these services and next thing you know you're paying over $100 a month for all these streaming channels. Most of the time you don't even watch them! I can't remember the last time I watched anything on Apple TV+ or Peacock or Netflix. I just used Hulu for like the first time in forever and Prime? I mean, I get Prime for the Devil's convenience of Doggie Jerky treats delivered next day to my Princess, the TV stuff, not so much. Here's my thought, why can't we treat streaming services the way we purchase comic books? 

We don't subscribe to DC or Marvel every month do we? Yuck, can you imagine given the amount of pure drivel they're pooping out to the masses these days. We don't have an Image subscription. If we want to eliminate titles from our pull at any moment it's our prerogative. So why can't we do that with streamers? Obviously it behooves them to have paid subscriptions to justify their budgets and satisfy shareholders but it's not a sustainable model for consumers. At some point you're going to cut off the fat. So let's say that Max is $15 a month. You don't see anything you want to watch on Max but Succession. Why can't you just purchase the Succession series from them while it's airing? If it's 10 episodes charge $3-4 per episode just like a comic book does. Hey if it's top shelf shit like Succession charge $5 or $6. Now before you get upset, yo, that's $50 for one TV show, think about it. You'll pay about $50 for a 12 issue comic book series right? Why not do the same for a show?? 

So if I paid $60 for Succession but don't subscribe to Max and never see anything else that piques my interest then I just paid $60 for a Max show rather than $180 for the year to subscribe to it. See where I'm going with this? If a show comes out on a streamer you don't subscribe to you should be able to pay for the single episode to check it out just like you would a comic book and if it sucks, as comics have been lately, you can drop it; no harm no foul. I believe some networks and streamers do this but clearly at this point in the game all should. Let's say a show is about to be released that seems great. They could charge $6 for the first episode or be like 'Hey buy the whole 8 episode season for $32! Get 3 episodes free!' It's like buying Trade Paperbacks of comics rather than single issues. Trades are usually $5 or sometimes $10 less than if you bought every issue one by one. 

The great thing about this approach is it puts the onus on streamers to create quality wow content rather than creating oodles of content for their subscribers to justify the monthly price. Of course you could still subscribe to streamers if you feel like you watch their stuff all the time but I'd prefer to have the choice to decide what I want to spend my $$$ on. For example, 'The Bear' Season 3 just got ordered. I would pay for that upfront in a heartbeat, yum, yum, yum, gimme gimme, but I would happily forgo the Hulu subscription since I don't use it. If I pay $500 a year for Streamers I'd rather take that $500 and divvy it up how I see fit. Maybe one month I'm dropping $200, maybe I'm not paying anything for 4 months; it's my choice. 

At some point this model will have to change because people are not going to continue to pay and pay and pay for what a channel or service deems to be it's 'premium content'. Dude, everything should be considered Premium Content. If you're calling something that you put out Premium that means you consider the stuff that's not called Premium to be mediocre or garbage, so why even make it? This is what's slowly happening to the Comic Book Universe. If you've noticed, comics are getting pricier. Well, seems to me that the pricer $5 and up comics are better: no ads, better creative teams, prestige format etc. The industry is basically creating their plus without telling you. The result for me is that I'm realizing that most $4 books are cheap trash while the ones with the price tags are worth my comic book interest. I am willing to pay $10 for a prestige bad ass comic provided that it's amazing versus $4 for run of the mill mind numbing hero nonsense.

It makes too much sense, which is why the Streamers will probably never operate in this manner, but at some point they may have to. In the meantime...just canceled Hulu, eff you Disney. I'll re-up when Bear Season 3 is out, maybe by that point your offices will have been swallowed up by a sinkhole like the image below and it'll be on another streamer.

Okay, that's enough for TV stuff, this is a Comic Book blog so let's recap a bunch of what I got into this past month...

 

Not gonna lie but Something Epic is hitting me hard. I’m not sure if this is a comic but rather a treatise on the whole idea of what creativity is and what it means to actualize one’s imagination into the real world. In examining these ideas Szymon Kudranski invokes the notion of a place where the imaginings of the physical world, that were never followed through on, exist in a specific reality outside of the realm of our senses. As an Artist, Comic, Writer and Performer I can relate to dozens if not hundreds upon hundreds of ideas of mine that never made it into the real world or are just sitting somewhere on a computer waiting to be completed. It’s made me commit more to what’s in front of me and to honor my imagination more and for a comic book to do that, that’s saying something.

 

As for the story, it’s started to veer off into a Disneyish quest by the lead as he makes his way through various challenges and realms while being guided by some old dude who’s seen ‘Epics’ like him before. The whole ‘World of Imagination’ becomes too ethereal, too empty, too muddy. It definitely feels a bit corny and less grounded but the book itself is transcending story so I’ll give it a pass and hope we find our way back to the physical world some time soon. Maybe this was an essay that Kurdranski turned into a comic. Maybe it should have stayed an essay? Maybe we can stop with this ‘End of Story Arc’ crap in comic books and just write a series until they come to an organic conclusion??? 

 

 

 

Barnstormers came to a fitting and satisfying end under the dutiful and competent navigation of Scott Snyder. Tula Lotay’s work on this book was absolutely beautiful and I will happily take in any pages she decides to work on going forward. She’s got one of those pricy DSTLRY books coming out at the end of the year and I will be all over it regardless of the premise. I was a bit surprised that this thick issue was only half story and half back matter. I guess they had to justify the price tag. I’m all for sketches and ‘Artist Notebook’ stuff, it can be interesting but a lot of times it feels like it’s just a a tool to knock out pages for content’s sake rather than as an extra bonus. I’m also don’t need to see the creative process for how you developed the logo of your book, that’s really neither a here nor there. Overall, really enjoyed this but could’ve used a little more smooching at the end.

 

 

 

The great thing about Rick Remender is that it’s crystal clear that he absolutely loves what he does and loves the medium of comic books. Despite the fact that some of his books have made it to the screen it still takes nothing away from his original concepts and desire to keep pumping out great stories for comics and comics alone. The Sacrificers is another fully realized unique world of the likes that we’ve never seen before with a tale that is both intriguing and rich in potential. It’s important to support comic dudes like Rick for tis’ dudes like this who maketh the world of comicdom a wondrous place to be. That being said, wondering what's going to happen to a kid that looks like a pigeon is, well, kinda weird.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well well well here we are with another hiatus for the ever brilliant Saga book. Given the fact that their stated end issue is 108 we’re basically looking at perhaps another 7 years for this tale to come to an end. Since Saga started back in 2012 that would mean it might be a whopping 18 years in sum total for BKV and Staples to knock out this run. Not that I’m necessarily complaining, I’ll take 18 years of Saga over six months of DC dropping 30 Bat Family Books that reek of stale mediocrity. I will say it does feel like this story is running its wheels in the mud at this point. Basically every month its someone looking for Alana, Hazel and the Bot kid and those three figuring a way out to survive, stay low and escape. Hopefully when it comes back next year there’ll be a renewed vigor to ramp up the excitement. In the meantime, their annual costume contest was a hoot although I disagree with their choice of 1^st place. I thought the 3rd place winners (Robot Kingdom Royalty) was by far the best.

A rather miserable retelling of Dicky D’s tragic life as an abused orphan in an orphanage is the gist of this Miracleman issue. Dicky continues his search to find out who he is with the help of a purple haired babe in an X-Men outfit while Double M sits in his Double M throne wondering where Dicky D is and perhaps if he smooched him too early. Maybe  the guy who wrote the smooch into the story in the first place made a huge mistake. Seeing as how he’s Miracle Man and he can jump into comic books or whatever medium he so chooses perhaps Neil is going to write about him jumping into his living room and walloping him in the chops for slowly turning this highly anticipated climactic ending into a snooze fest. Next issue is the final one, c’mon Gaiman, make it a humdinger or you will have ruined two major creative properties in the span of a couple years, one being the unwatchable Sandman Netflix series and now this.

 

 

 

I’m not sure if What’s the Furthest Place from Here is a work of genius or pure caca poo poo; it’s a fine line. It might be both, who knows. Despite it only being 15 issues in I feel like this book has been droning on for several years. It started off wonderfully then veered off into wackadoodleville after numerous issues that had backstories in them. I appreciate the fact that the last two issues at least attempted to get back to the main narrative but there’s still a whole lotta WTF going on. Maybe that’s what they’re counting on to keep us hooked, well, fuck, it’s working. Boss & Rosenberg are either doing enormous amounts of hallucinogenics while working on this comic or soberly crafting a story that will be dissected by Liberal Universities for years to come. All the main characters in this book have had the shit kicked out of them, unfortunately so have the readers. Wrap this up already guys, I’m dying here!

 

 

 

That cat's paw reaching out from the abyss in the latest installment from Monstress is exactly how I feel about this series. This comic has turn me into a complete and utter pussy, an undeniable wussbag. I should have the balls to just dump this comic as I have so many others that have been penned by a certifiable lunatic author who must be having major issues come up in her therapy sessions; and yet I can't. I've been through it all with this comic, it's been 8 long years at staring at seaweed eyes, pirate cats and lesbian psychopaths born from wolves. It seems like Liu injected a couple of pitch black panels to indicate she's returning back to the main plot. Maybe she actually went on a shroom bender and blacked out for a couple of days and her hubby Junot Diaz looked deep in her eyes when she came to and said 'Baby, it's time to return to the main narrative and wrap this puppy up'. That's why there's another hiatus for this comic, it's going to take Liu several months to cry about the painful journey she's put her readers through before she starts writing. It's okay Marj, I get it, but no more prison colonies and flying cat statues in outer space mmkay?

That's all I got people! I've got some big ol' prestige issues to dive into including Christian Ward's Batman and 'Gone', DSTLRY's first comic by Jock. 

Happy reading...

 

BATMAN: GARGOYLE OF GOTHAM #1 - Review

 

As the year hastily dwindles to a close I’m beginning to look back and take stock at what the hell I’ve been spending my hard earned cashish on. Something that’s missing from the receipts of my hard earned cashish has been an amazing Bat Book. I mean, dude, where is it? This calendar year has been devoid of anything Bat-tacular. It’s been a Rat-A-Bat-Bat of blecchh month after month. Maybe you need to have a new arc start up in Detective Comics where the B to the M is actively searching for the reason why he can’t exist in any plots that make readers go ‘Wow’.

 

Bats: I can’t put my finger on it Alfred. All the stories that are written about me suck donkey balls.

 

Alfred: What type of donkey balls Master Bruce? A Catalan Donkey? Maltese? Irish?

 

Bats: That’s just it Alfred. These stories are sucking every single breed of Donkey Sack.

 

Alfred: That’s not possible Master Bruce.

 

Bats: Here, read this –

 

Bats tosses Alfred one of DC’s 2023 Bat Book offerings. Alfred flips through it.

 

Bats: Are you going ‘Wow’ or are you going ‘Hmm’.

 

Alfred: I’m going Egad, Master Bruce.

 

Bats: Exactly. Someone or something, perhaps an existential force, is calibrating all the plots of my books to the suckage of equine sackage.

 

Alfred: How very Hip-Hop of you to say sir, adding an ‘age’ to your verbs and nouns.

 

Bats: Thanks old chum, that Sirius XM subscription you added to the Batmobile was a magnificent idea.

 

Alfred: I’m glad you’ve finally discovered EPMD Master Bruce.

 

Time is running out for Bats to deliver the Bats comic of the year. I saved this comic for today so I could delve into what looks like a Halloweenie type of comic. Not that I care about Halloween at all, it’s just, I dunno, I thought it’d be fun, cut me a break! Jeez. In the corner of my eye I spy Christian Ward’s ‘Batman: City of Madness’ in prestige format which may ultimately be the Bat Book of the year, but I already purchased this one, so…, yeah. It’s kinda like how you set up a date with a chick where you’re thinking ‘Ah, she’s cool, this could be fun’ and then you match with a smoking hot Yoga teacher who loves making smoothies and practicing reiki in the nude. 

 

You’ll go out with the ‘cool this could be fun chick’ but all you’ll be thinking about is the Yogi Babe Hoagie, such is life.

 

So for the cool, this could be fun chick, well, there are issues. First, I appreciate the amount of pages I’m getting that are completely ad-free but methinks 7 bux is a bit much. I’m getting Ward’s prestige Bat book for the same price, I think you need to knock off a few bucks here. Secondly, this may sound ridiculous, but I can’t stop thinking about the Writer/Author’s last name, Grampa. He’s Brazilian, I get that, but I immediately went to ‘Wait, are there, like, Grampas and Grannies and Aunties for last names in Brazil?’. If Mr. Grampa married someone with the last name of Granny could he then hyphenate it to Grampa-Granny and then would my head explode or just short out for a couple of minutes.

 

DC created an animated trailer for this book that Gramps put on his insta page:

 

Gargoyle Trailer

 

Their tagline is ‘When you chase your own Shadow, it leads you into the Abyss’

 

Maybe it should be ‘When you buy $3.99 books from DC, it leads you into eBay to see how much you can sell a comic that you don’t want anymore’.

 

I mean, this book is a bit confusing and slightly off. I saw that there was a lot of gripes about Gramps and his artistic style. I happen to dig it, it’s very stylized for sure. Only thing is it’s heavy on the eyes, meaning it kinda takes you a moment to take in the panels if that makes any sense; the linework is a bit busy with the detailing and caricature approach to some of the characters. It’s really cool in some instances and somewhat muddy in others; sounds exactly what dating a ‘She’s cool this could be fun’ babe would be like.

 

My main complaint is that I really don’t know what time period or universe this book exists in. By the look of Bats, it seems like they’re going for the first appearance in Detective Comics look with the slanted eye slots and curved pointier ears. But then we get panels where people are on the subway looking at their phones and then a scene with a news reporter whose online video just went viral with a hashtag. Huh? Is this the 30s or present day? The feel of it gives me the sense that it’s old school yet clearly that’s not the case but the cops are reacting like Batman just appeared on the scene. Bats is also tinkering with what seems to be his first ever Batmobile so it’s 2023 and Batman just started do his Bat thing in a world that looks old-timey. Oy vey.

 

Next, the villain, I’m not sure what to make of him, you see him, wince and go ‘Umm, what?’ It looks like something straight out of a high school/art school sketchbook. It’s doodle-ish and does not feel like he’s based in a grounded reality in relationship to the world that Gramps has created. Look at him:

 

 

So that’s tears streaming out of his eyes, he’s almost always crying or has tears just pouring out his eye ducts like he’s Daniel Kaluuya in ‘Get Out’.

 

 

 

But this dude isn’t heaving or hunching over or making any facial expressions that would indicate that he’s deeply upset; so he’s clearly not Jewish. This dude is fighting with tears just flowing out of his eyes, c’mon Grampy, feels contrived. Bats is on the tail of some serial killer that’s murdering dudes in a weird way and the whole ‘Detective Procedural’ aspect of this book actually works quite well and progresses nicely. Maybe Law & Order should hire Grampa.

 

So upon further investigation this guy's name is Crytoon, he is the Gargoyle of Gotham [crickets] umm, deep sigh, face plant, brow furrowing. Admit it, the first thing you thought of when you saw that name was wonder if there was a 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' sequel coming out since this guy sounds like someone straight from Toonland.

Look, if you’ve got a serial killer villain who’s weeping all the time maybe you should have him on a killing spree of all the dudes who run the dating apps. I mean, I’m constantly weeping inside from having to use them maybe this Weepy Goth dude in the cool Matrix coat could be our hero? You’d find all the CEOs of apps like OKCupid, Tinder, RAYA, Hinge murdered over the mainframe computers that house the proprietary algorithms. Perhaps affixed to their bodies are little emojis that look like roses, super likes, direct requests and other bullshit that you have to pay up for in order for an AI Insta Chick to see before not responding to your messages.

 

My last gripe of the book is, how many times are we going to see Alfred descending some stairs in the Batcave with a tray and a bowl of soup on it to deliver to Brucey? 

 

 

 

You think Bats is eating soup after flying around Gotham and exerting every ounce of his energy? Homie needs a steak or an arroz con pollo or something hearty. At one point Alfred leaves a piece of cake for Bruce in the Batmobile and I’m immediately like, a loaded breakfast burrito would’ve made more sense. Seriously, we need to see heroes fueling up more. I wanna see Wonder Woman biting into a lamb chop while holding the bone. I wanna see Supes doubles fisting two roasted chickens before taking off.

 

Oy vey ismir. Going out with ‘Could be fun chick’ was kind of a bust. Now, I still may very well grab the next issue based off of the interesting procedural that Granny Grampy Campy has got going on but it’s hanging on by a thread.

 

Alright Christian Ward, you’re up next. I swear though, if I see one fucking bowl of piping hot soup anywhere in your book I’m going to blow a gasket. First Batman Artist to draw Batman devouring a steak in the Batcave should win an Eisner.

 

 

Rating: 7.1

Verdict: Pull hesitantly and cry about it

The Plot Holes #1 - Review

 

Wow. A new Sean Murphy book! Where did this come from? I heard zero about this comic being released then all of sudden, oompah, a new Murph book on the solicits! Praise Be The Murph! How was the comic book world not pre-empted with oodles of ‘Murphy is dropping another gem’ hype articles? Am I missing something here? Murphy can do no wrong!

 

Punk Rock Jesus! Tokyo Ghost! The frikkin entire Batman: White Knight series! He single handedly created the greatest Bats Alt-Uni ever to the point that DC is like:

 

DC Suit: Please, Murph, White Knight every one of our fucking characters! Like, every single one! Even Mister Mxyzptlk, White Knight his corny ass as well!

 

Word has it you can’t enter the DC Offices without dressing like a White Knight character. I’ve heard that interns just print out drawings of his characters from Tokyo Ghost onto onesies and masks and walk around in them all day long. Maybe I’ll do that for Halloween. I’ll dress up as Punk Rock – wait, I’m Jewish, can’t dress up as Punk Rock Jesus. Maybe I can figure out a Punk Rock Rabbi or Punk Rock Bagel Broker or something.

 

Anyway, I’m wondering why this was so on the down low. After all he’s done for DC you’d think they’d be like ‘Sure dude, print whatever you want with us’. Except, they didn’t. It’s printed at, huh, Massive Publishing, who the fuck are they? Let me look them up, hmm, I don’t recognize any of these – wait, they’re Whatnot? Wait, are they Whatnot publishing or Massive? Pick one for goodness sake. Whatnot has been more like What? - Not. Their Ninja Funk book was an unmitigated disaster from the jump, reviewed here. Why is Murphy hobknobbing with Massive? Can’t Image, the greatest comic book publisher on the planet, hook a bad boy up with 5 issues?

 

I’m always so curious why comic book creators jump from publishers to publisher. I wish they put out Comic Book Creator salaries the way they did with professional sports players so we could argue over whether or not a guy or gal was sufficiently or overly paid or not. I feel like there should be a lot more transparency on how these amazing creators are getting paid. Like, DSTLRY put together some of the baddest Comic Book Superstars for their imprint, yet they’re charging an arm and a leg for their issues. Is this because this is what they need to charge for these creators to actually be paid properly or are they kinda price gouging us and inflating the price to inflate their new approach?

 

Whatever the case may be, I have no idea what this Plotholes book is about and I don’t care. It’s The Murph. I’m fired up to read thi – hmm, what the – okay well, the art is fan-fucking-tastic per usual but what the – okay, hmm. So these characters are like saving books and, hmm, umm, [flip flip fiip] but it’s Murphy! Woo Hoo! Seany Love! Bring the ruck – wait, dude, seriously. Oy. Umm, Seany Murph! The Murphster – the - uggh, really? Okay. Umm, okay, umm. Oy.

 

So, uh, well, umm, yeah this book is kinda wack.

 

I mean, the art, I could take in Murphy art every day and be happy but, yeah, I can see why DC and maybe other Publishers were like ‘Uhh, you got any Silver Paladins or Gold Wizards to pitch us?' Otherwise this ‘Book Heroes’ comic is a pass. Real quick on the premise: A rag tag group of literary misfits led by an elderly ‘Jane Fonda type’ jump from unpublished book (in imagination land) to unpublished book to save the books from their obvious flaws so that they ultimately get published.

 

The obvious response to this premise is 'Well, you should send these plot savers to both DC & Marvisney to save the comic book universe first', but that's probably too on the nose. 

 

I feel like this is one of these ideas where if I met Murphy for a coffee in La La Land and he told me his idea I’d be like ‘Dude, that’s really cool like, wow, so out of the box’ but I’d be validating my parking and thinking ‘Dude, is Murphy losing it?’. Because you can’t tell Murphy he’s got a butt butt idea, you just have to trust that the guy is going to make it work. But this idea feels so, I dunno, like a promotional approach you’d read in pamphlets and placards at a library trying to encourage kids to read more. It doesn’t feel grounded at all and the group is so disparate that it’s not cohesive by any stretch of the imagination.  Not to mention that the first issue centers around them saving a kid who makes comic books from his world being destroyed; a little too meta for me.

 

The ‘Something Epic’ series that Szymon Kudranski is putting out that’s ongoing right now is also engaging is a similar approach towards the whole idea of “What happens to imaginative creations when they’re not finished?” a brilliant concept. However, five issues in and it’s getting a little cornball what with the lead doing battle in the world of discarded imaginative creations, it just feels a little goofy.

 

The greatest comic to ever majestically triumph over the deconstruction of the entire literary construct was ‘The Unwritten’. My goodness, that comic was beyond phenomenal. Did you read it? If not, drop what you’re doing and read this scintillating mind blowing series that should get annual awards for being so fucking amazing:

 

I mean, when a comic does something to perfection like this one it’s hard to take anything else really seriously unless it shatters another mold and takes it to another level. Murphy’s ‘Plot Holes’ doesn’t really do that. The world and the devices he uses are, well, flimsy. A meter with a percentage on it that has dwindled to almost zero which indicates that, from what I can gather, that the world of digital books and the ability for this group to fix them is about to vanish? Yeah, I'm not buying it.

 

Plus the oddball assortment of characters from various genres feels like he and his beautiful and talented wife Katana were up getting high and just threw out a bunch of different archetypes to be included. I mean, one of them looks like a Calvin and Hobbes reject and none of them are even close to being fully developed. There’s some wonky large alien ‘Dune’ worm that’s jumping from book to book and destroying them, I dunno, as I said, feels like a Library Marketing Approach.

 

 

Now, despite all of this I am on board for subsequent issues. It is Sean Murphy after all and if anyone can rescue a premise and turn it into a – wait, what is he doing, he’s doing a Zorro series next with Matt Hollingsworth? Umm, hmm, Murphy! Woo hoo! Oy. Is this like him owing something to the people who are behind Massive Publishing and Whatnot so rather than give them his gems he’s just giving them some throw-away stories? Like, is this comic in the vein of Prince’s ‘Chaos and Disorder’ when he just pooped out an album to finish off his Warner Brothers contract so he could own all of his own masters?

 

I did a little digging and it seems this comic was crowd funded back in the summer of 2020 and made $250 K. Wow. Maybe Murphy freaked out during the lockdowns and was like ‘Dude, I gotta get a book funded and made, my White Knight life is over!’. Here's the IndieGoGo link for that campaign:

 Plot Holes Crowd Funding

 

Maybe Murphy is too busy working on completely destroying the JLA/Wonder Dubz White Knight books that he doesn’t have time to make his own premises sparkle. He’s still doing that right? Well of course he is. Maybe this is his ultimate shell game. Look over here as I put out some middling books at a wack imprint while I completely overhaul the entire DC Universe with my White Knight brilliance. Maybe this group of Plot Holes heroes is a wink to his actual team of rebels who are hacking away at the DC decay that's been ongoing since the beginning of this year.

 

Maybe it's a good thing this didn't get picked up by DC or Marvisney. If it did the series would probably have to be changed to 'The Sinkholes'.

Rating: 6.3

Verdict: Pull for now

WONDER WOMAN #1 (2023) - Review

 

Pre-Date Jitters

 

It’s been a while since Double Dubs main title and I have gone out. It’s not that I’m not attracted to her it’s just that, well, she’s been a sequential art shit show for over 10 years and counting. I never was really into Double Dubs. I’m not into tall burly women who have gadgets that make you confess everything to them:

 

‘Yes I’m late because I was watching the game and checking on a fantasy football injury update it had nothing to do with traffic, okay? Get this lasso thingy off of me!’

 

But back when the New 52 was born I decided to check out Azzarello and Chiang’s ‘Wonder Woman’, it looked like it was going to be amazing, and it was. That comic began right as I started living with my soon to be fiancé/soon to be ex fiancé. She loved how I took it easy in the mornings and had a cup of joe with a comic before I started my days so she would sometimes join me. There were only two comics she would read: Saga…and Azzarello and Chiang’s Wonder Woman.

To this day I consider that run along with Batman’s ‘Court of Owls’. which also started in the New 52, as one of the best hero book runs I’ve ever experienced in my entire life; it was that good.

 

But all good things they say never last and neither did Chiangarello’s Double Dubz. Since then, well, the comic has fucking sucked, like totally putrid. I check on it every now and then at my LCS, flip through the pages and roll my eyes, uggh, what is this tripe. Now granted, last year’s ‘Wonder Woman: Historia’ was one the best things I read last year, it was a masterpiece. But that wasn’t an ongoing, that was a Black Label Droperoo. Oh, what hast thou done to my label of Adult Darkness DC??? Tis now a Poop Label.

 

Anyway, word on the street was that Dub Dubz was back and in full effect. King was bringing the ruckus. Oy, Tom King. Can’t say I’ve been a fan of King when it comes to him doing the tights and capes. Everything feels off during his runs for some reason. Yet in the past year he has lorded over one of the best ongoing series to date, ‘Love Everlasting’ an absolute beast of a comic that has dropped 10 amazing issues in a row. I’m chomping at the bit for the next arc. So, since King has created such a smash of a book it had me thinking ‘Hmm, maybe he can take some of that ‘Love’ juju and bring it to the Dubz. I was skeptical yet intrigued.

 

So here I am, about to flip through my comic rack, find Dubz #1 and sit down. I’m genuinely nervous. It’s like that babe who you saw years ago, had an amazing time with, she went batshit crazy on you, but you followed her on Insta, and then one day your buddy said he ran into her and she looked amazing, eventually in a moment of loneliness you DM her and before you know it you’re meeting her for bagels at the dope Bagel spot in Culver city. Fuck. Okay, here we go…

 

 

The Date

Well, umm, she looks a little weird, at least on the cover. Is it me? I mean, it looks like her head is a bit smaller than it should be, like the proportion is off. Look at it:

 

 

I mean, did she just get that buff that her chest and shoulders just exploded on her? I dunno, did AI draw this cover, what’s going on here. I’m a little put off just by looking at it and I legitimately stared at it for several minutes before opening it.

 

Okay, so just to be clear, I have no idea what’s been going on in this book at all or what this Dawn of DC crapola is or what the DC Universe at large has to do with Dubz at all, I’m coming in completely cold. So it’s clear that Amazons are now living all over the United States. Why? Why would they leave Paradise for this crumbling empire that is fat, sick, angry and ready to call you a bigoted racist nazi just for asking them the time? Okay, so Amazons and their, wait, their wives and daughters have moved in to the US and they’re living everywhere. Umm, I’m not so sure that’s gonna work outside of NY, LA, Miami or Frisco but, whatever.

 

The first scene is of some Blonde Amazon, killing, yes killing, 19 greaseball/douchebags in a greaseball/douchebag bar/pool hall in the middle of nowhere in Montana. At first I though Dubz went blondie, yowza hubba hubba, but turns out it was some other Amazonian. Can we just admit that having these women called the Amazons is a bit of a mind fuck since the company Amazon pretty much rules the country? Maybe the Amazons were moved here by Amazon to be the Amazon army? Now that I can believe. Maybe the Amazons are going to be the ones who finally track down and beat the shit out of all these porch thieves? Maybe they’re going to replace the drones that never worked and fly around everywhere so I could technically get my ridiculously expensive doggie jerky treats for my little baby in 15 minutes or less, delivered by a 6 foot babe in a shiny metallic outfit? 

 

Before you call me crazy let's just acknowledge the fact that Amazon employees consider themselves Amazonians. Look:

 

 Amazon Amazonians

 

 

Now I can’t stop thinking about a horde of Amazon Delivery Babes delivering stuff all day long in invisible Amazon vans, putting the comic down for a bit.

 

 

Okay, I’m back from my Amazon Amazonian Delivery Service fantasy, it was lovely. Okay, wait, why the fuck is a drop dead gorgeous Amazon babe going to a bar which looks like douchebag central and then getting upset when a douchebag, who has probably never been close to a babe such as this, goes to touch her? What did you expect to happen? Did you think they were going to sit you down and debate which brand is a better non-dairy option for coffee creamers??? Then she kills all the dudes? Like, kills them. Actually dead.

 

This is like if I had met that bat shit crazy babe who I hadn’t seen in 10 years and she told me that she now owned an Uzi and has been acquitted multiple times of murdering home invaders due to her lawyers claiming self defense. Since when do Amazons kill loser dudes?

 

Predictably the response is that some weirdo Fed guy who has a steel hand that shoots bullets is now put in charge of some lethal government task force that is responsible for gathering up all the Amazonians and shipping them out of the country. Congress passes the 'Amazon Safety Act' which I'm sure a bunch of small business owners got excited about until they realized it was about a fictional super hero. I’m not sure if King is making a commentary on our out of control illegal immigration issue or not. Now I’m on edge, is this going turn into some political diatribe, oy King, you’re killing me.

 

The task force is now apparently rounding Amazons and also killing some of them. Umm, is this the new DC? Is Batman killing people now? How about Supes? This seems a little over the top for me and excessively violent for a Dubz story. Now Amazons are all outlaws and so is Dubz and, hmm, reminds me of a bunch of hero books where the Hero is now the outcast of society blah blah, Marvisney has been doing that trope for years. Oy, King! WTF???

 

I’m getting cranky, I’m shifting in my La-Z-Boy, I’ve spilled a bit of coffee, this reunion date is not going well…until Dubz finally shows up. Oh thank goodness. King finally takes the gloves off and flexes his muscles and the results are stupendous. I mean, it’s not like he reinvented the Wonder Woman wheel but the whole scene with Dubz at a cemetery in the snow surrounded by Fed Goons and the new Fed Yucky and his Steel Glove was just perfect. Looked like Daniel Sampere saved his best work for that scene as well. Hey there hubba hubba:

If I was on my ten year reunion date with my former Batshit GF it would be here where she would tell me a hilarious story that would have me in tears while being cutesy and endearing. Then a book would fall out of her pocketbook entitled ‘How to make the Best Sandwich for a Guy who’s Watching his Favorite Team Play’ and I’d be all googly eyed.

 

We then get the introduction of some new villain who supposedly is orchestrating the Amazon persecution. Some old crotchety hawk-nosed grump who sits on a throne in a room with a masonic checkerboard floor. Hmm, is King going for the 'Conspiracy' angle? Last time I read a comic book dude try the conspiracy angle it was Tynion doing the 'Department of Truth' which was a department of mish mosh half baked caca ideas that pulled from a disparate amount of urban myths and actual verified ideas. Uggh, Tynion's a putz. 

I dunno, this villain could turn out be a complete goof or he could be powerfully imagined; it could go either way. I mean, this is DC, a comic book universe where goofiness reigns supreme. After the final frame where this villain is introduced you're thinking hmm, is this goofy or cool AF, then you turn the page and DC is promoting some are you effin' kidding me series where the Justice League meets Godzilla vs King Kong ahahahahahahahaha soo frikkin' corny!

Post Date Vibes

Hmm, well, I'm interested, this is interesting, Dubz is interesting. It's been a while since my interest has been piqued in Dubz's main title. Piqued has two meanings though, one is to be stimulated the other is to be resentful or irritated. I can see myself getting piqued by this series really quickly; it could go either way, I'm on the fence. It's like, hmm my Batshit Ex seems different, she seems like she's on the ball, she seems like she's turned a new leaf, but Batshit is lurking inside of that temptress, does it come out and if so when and how much and is it during Monday Night Football? How many sandwiches get made for me until she tosses the plate at my head and presses my face between two slices of sourdough?

I'd have more faith if this was a Black Label title, feels like writers on Black Label get way more leeway than they do on the cheaper ongoing titles. I guess I'm down for a second date even though I know it could turn into a dumpster fire.

We'll go on a hike somewhere. Yeah, a hike, zero money invested, in public, separate cars. It'll be lovely. Or, it'll be a Justice League meets King Kong and Godzilla unmitigated disaster. Man, it's rough out here tryna date.

Rating: 7.5

Verdict: Pull

RARE FLAVOURS #1 - Review

 

Boy, this one almost slipped through my fingers and my pull list. Seems like it got zero press, zero previews and zero hype from comic book hype machines. Can’t figure out why not, this creative team is the same one that was behind the mind blowingly amazing ‘The Many Deaths of Laila Starr’ which dropped a few years ago. That was legitimately one of the best series of the year and one of the most unique stories I had read in quite some time. It vaulted Ram V into the ‘writer of the moment’ conversation and predictably he was given a bunch of high profile DC books to lord over.

 

As I cringed and anticipated a massive failure from his transition into major hero books Ram shut me the hell up and put out an eye poppingly great Aquaman masterpiece with Christian Ward entitled ‘Aquaman:Andromeda’. Aquaman. He knocked an Aquaman story out of the park. The exit velo was off the charts. My goodness, that book was a triumph. I then followed Ram a Dalai Lama Ding Dong down the DC Doo Doo trail into their cheap $3.99 books and predictably he wasn’t able to transcend the titles he was assigned to. I’m completely baffled by this. It keeps me up at night.

 

Why do creators crash and burn on the $3.99 Big Poo titles? I mean, it doesn’t actually keep me up at night. Maybe when I feel my little Princess staring deep into my soul at 4am which causes me to wake up and lift the covers so she can burrow herself underneath them, maybe then, as I tossing and turning to go back to bed I may think ‘why did Ram V’s Detective Comics run feel like a cheese grater against my nuts?’

 

So as this team got back together to drop this series I’m wondering why wasn’t this trumpeted from the roof tops? My initial thought was, oh this looks bad. The logline and solicit made it seem like it was some sort of cannibalistic horror comic that followed around some fatso who, I dunno, ate something fancy and then ate someone fancy. I pulled it nonchalantly, it is Boom! after all. Boom! Which is kinda like “Boom! You bought another wack ass comic from us!” Granted, they have been getting better. A Vicious Circle is one of the best books I read this past year even if it is taking them six months or more to put out an issue.

 

Why didn’t Boom! go all in on this book? I did see them put out some $3 preview book or something called an “Ashcan” a month before which seemed superfluous. What’s an ashcan? Isn’t it supposed to be some mini comic yet it’s not it’s normal sized but it only has 10 pages of material. Huh? Maybe this was Boom! going all in on the creative team. Maybe it’s just that something spectacular these days is easily swept under the rug of the Big Poo’s major releases and incessant drama. The only thing we can do is stay vigilant and pore over the weekly solicits with a fine tooth comb to make sure that great books do not in fact fall through the cracks but get snatched up mightily by the geeks at large so that publisher’s realized that greatness will in fact be rewarded by the marketplace.

 

And, yes, this book is fucking great.

 

It’s so obvious right out the gate too. You’re just swept up right into this world by Ram V’s supple word combinations and Filipe Andrade’s distinct and visually satisfying artistic style. They’re building off their Laila Starr premise by introducing another Deity/Demon who adopts a human form to fulfill an ambition of theirs. This particular demon is called a ‘Rakshasa’, which sounds like Shakshuka, a yummy Middle Eastern breakfast dish. 

 

 

 

Has a punk band adopted the name ‘Shakshuka’ yet? C’mon punkos, it’s perfect. The alternative spelling of Shakshuka is Chakchouka which you know has to be the name of new Star Wars character that Marvisney plans to introduce in their next Disney Minus series. Maybe he’ll be an Ewok Warlord, I can see that. Bring back the Ewoks! C'mon Marvisney, you haven't ruined that memory yet, time to make a clean sweep of all my Star Wars happiness and turn it into misery.

 

At any a rate, a Rakshasha is a demon/ shapeshifter that can take the form of an animal or human if it’s a male. If it’s a female Rakshasha it can only take the form of a beautiful woman. Clearly female Rakshasha’s think it’s a hoot to upload dating profiles to all the dating apps. I think I just matched with a female Rakshasha. She’ll take three weeks to reply in 10 words or less to my well thought out, audience tested, flip yet emotionally mature audio message. I’ll sit patiently and anxiously for a day biting my fingernails, waiting for the moment to reply so as to appear busy and preoccupied with my full work and dating schedule; all for naught. Damn, these fucking Rakshasha’s got me all twisted! At least now, thanks to Ram V, I know that they’re actual demons, and Hindu ones at that. Yeah. Indian babes have always looked at me like I’m a plate of food that just fallen on the floor. I have zero chance with them so this Rakshasha demon horde infiltrating my dating app preference makes total sense.

 

Back to this spectacular comic. This particular demon has a dream to become an Anthony Bourdain type celebrity and enlists some wayward musty filmmaker dude to shoot the documentary of his journey into food. Obviously some blood and guts occurs but it is downplayed enough that it doesn’t turn the book into a gore fest which is what I was expecting when I saw the solicits. This is just another magical premise by this creative duo and I hope that Boom! or whomever signs them to a long term deal to continue pumping out stories like this for the near future.

 

We can’t let books like this slip away into the comic book memory holes. We have to support them. We have to make sure the marketplace takes notice when real dyed in the wool artists come together to put out their special brand of special. Is this going to be made into a show or a film, of course it won’t. Will it smash records on social media shares, of course it won’t. It’s a story that’s perfectly made for the medium of comics and it should be celebrated as such. Boom! You did good! Pow! Right in the Kisser Ralph Kramden Good!

 

Rare Flavours: An under the radar smash from an Indy Publisher. Rare indeed.

 

 

Rating: 9.7

Verdict: Pull