It’s Black Friday! Rather than being sucked into the shopping vortex I decided to make it Black Label Friday! Another deep dive into the murky depths of the spectacular Andromeda book took the place of surfing through endless coupons from failing and flailng businesses begging you to purchase their wonky wares. I don’t how you felt about it, but this year’s Black Friday didn’t really seem like a Black Friday, it felt like a Grey Wednesday. I wasn’t blown away by any of the deals. Nothing was eye poppingly wow omg, must get before it be gone. If you’re sending out 10, 20 or 30% nonsense that’s not Black Friday that’s Wack Buyday. Come on retail, look, y’all need to pump out some 80% off/below cost/we’re losing money here type deals.
Black Friday means...you lose. YOU LOSE! It's the one day consumers devoid of a soul can get their stuffy stuff for next to nada. You take a bath Retail! A bath in your losses and soak up the suds of your items flying off the shelves like they were in a flash mob in San Francisco. And for goodness sake, don’t give me these ‘Up to 60% off’ or ‘Up to 75% off’ bullshit. We’re not stupid. We know that means, ‘Yeah most of our stuff, the good stuff will be 25-30 but SOME will be 75 and that some will be pure crapola’. Then there were all the streaming losers with their ‘Two bucks a month for 3 months’ nonsense. No, you reduce your overpriced platform to less than half and suck it up. HBOMax? $7 a month…for…a…year! Stop roping us into these promo price shenanigans! NBA was like, get our league pass for 50 off but they wouldn’t let me get 50 off their monthly price for individual teams. I want the Knicks to gouge my happiness three times a week not every frikkin' team I know and care nothing about. Eff. All of you. You know what was worth $7? This comic. This was a grand blissful achievement that surpassed all of my expectations and more. I am stuffed with joy like a Turkey stuffed with breadcrumbs made out of Marvel comics from the 60s.
There are not enough superlatives to describe the majesty that was this story. It was brilliantly spun by Ram V and next level drawn by Christian Ward. I felt like I was watching a movie within a book. The visuals and words worked so perfectly together it sometimes felt like I was hearing them in my head and seeing them dance in front of me. It took me more than a day to finish, not because it was painstakingly long but because I wanted to savor it. I didn’t want this to end but it was tied up so perfectly and given a coda in such a sublime way that I really couldn’t ask for anything more but to close the cover and say thank you. Between this and Catwoman: Lonely City, DC has put out two of the best works of comic book goodness in years. Add the unfuckingbelievable Wonder Woman Historia, which will make your eyes bleed all the awful art they’ve ever seen before laying eyes on the art in these books, and you have a holy trinity of Superhero books that are going to ultimately be looked upon as sky posts to which hero book creators should aspire to. It is not lost on me that I just mentioned books that were based on Aquaman, Wonder Woman and Catwoman; three characters that I have barely paid attention to over my comic book life and yet here I am begging their creators for more.
The back stories on all of the crew of the Andromeda were so well thought out and so emotionally engaging that I am still thinking of them, especially Ivanov’s story of dragging refugees by a boat during war torn Sarajevo. This is what comics have the power to do. To weave tales and art together in a way that will spark our imaginations to create and seek out comparable works of art. I know I rag on Marvel a lot. I do it because I know they too can be putting out this type of content if they really wanted to or if creators were given the leeway to do so. As it stands, they’re stuck in a hamster wheel of feeding a bottom line and it’s sickening to see them toil in mediocrity.
As for Aquaman, he was presented as King, a fairy tale, a haunted vision, a boy with a past, and a man with an ethereal responsibility that reaches back eons to a time before time. If this is Aquaman DC, I am all in. It feels weird to write that. I mean, I’m a Batman guy. Maybe I’m shedding my bad girl, naughty Latina vibe for a regal hot blonde vibe. I can get with that. Andromeda. A book for the ages. Grab it and swim to the depths.
Rating; 10.0
Verdict: Pull and Frame.
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