June '24 Reading Round Up

 

 

I pulled a piddly 9 comics in June. Nine. Nine times. I pulled Niiiiine Times. Yes, Rooney’s ‘Nine Times’ from Ferris Bueller is ringing in my head. 

 

 

That’s the first time in over 15 years (the two months of global shutdown notwithstanding) since I’ve been keeping track of my pulls that I went a month where I pulled in the single digits. I wish the country’s inflation problem was like my comic pulls; the price of good organic hummus wouldn’t make me cry anymore. Why just 9? I suppose I’m at the point where I see shit come down the pike and say to myself ‘Yeah, I ain’t falling for the banana in the tailpipe again’. I can tell when something that looks good is going to suck. Let me clarify: I can tell when a comic that looks good is going to suck, a woman…not so much. I can also tell when a comic that seems like it can be okay is not worth my dillies. 

 

 

With The Big Poo releasing drivel, decent books at least 5 or 6 bux a pop, really great prestige books around $9 a pop, and with new drops almost always being a limited series it’s been easier to give books that I normally might pull or continue to pull the Heisman. That said, at the halfway point of 2024 I’ve still pulled a little more than I did at this point last year yet last year was my lowest annual pull in 15 years as well. I would say it’s been a better year so far for the quality of comics that have come out versus last year. Image has kinda sucked but DSTLRY, Titan and Tom King may very well save the comic book industry if they keep on their current trajectory. Looking through July and August I don’t see much other than what I’m grabbing now. With that segue, here’s what I’ve been grabbing:

 

 

 

Christian Ward is not allowed to do any comics that are not in Prestige format ever again. I have gotten so used to seeing his amazing art plastered across enormous oversized pages that mushing it back into a standard comic size would be blasphemy. It seems like the Industry agrees with me as I feel like all of his recent books have been Super Sized. As expected, his work on this book is nothing short of absolutely fucking gorgeous. As for Tynion, I’m not really a huge fan. I know a lot of geeks geek out on his work and he’s regarded as one of the best by the publishers but he just doesn’t do it for me. The last two projects of his that I checked out was ‘Nice House on the Lake’ which started off wonderfully and by the midway point it had devolved into a wack CW Show inspired piece of poop. Same thing happened with ‘Department of Truth’. It started off with a bang/slap on the ass and spiraled into a whimpering fetal position of a book. The premise of Spectregraph is immensely strong and they’ve set it up perfectly. It remains to be seen if Tynion can handle maintaining the story arc. We know that Ward is going bring the ruffneck bizness to the art. Maybe that’ll jolt Tynion into actually finishing what he started. Otherwise, this is another solid release by DSTLRY which is fast becoming the Jewel of the Industry for the non Tights & Capes titles. 9.5

 

 

 

This 3 Issue Jock-O-Rama series ended with a resounding thud and put a stink on the first ever initial release from DSTLRY. Since this offering they have been slaying the marketplace with their spectacular books so they haven’t looked back. As I’ve said before these 3 issue Prestige Format releases that cost a grip are hard for the consumer to navigate through. As long as the premise and presentation of the initial issue grabs you, you’ll be on board for Issue 2, where it seems like more often than not that it goes off the rails; which it did in this series. Then you’re left wondering, well, I’ve already dropped $16-18 and there’s only one issue left, might as well get it, maybe it will have a great ending. In this case it didn’t. In this case it turned into a bumbling disconnected plot of Mommy & Daddy issues, Zombies, intergalactic politics and general poop on a page dialogue. They’re in a ship. They’re in a different ship. They want to come back to this ship. Nobody’s on the ship. We’re running from this ship. The other ship is running from something else. Now he’s on the ship. Zombies everywhere. Boom Bam. Zombies. Ships. Space. There, I just saved you $9, no need to get this now. Man, finishing a Sucky 3 Issue Prestige really punches you in the stomach. Mark Simpson, AKA Jock, really dropped the ball on this one. Shame. His ‘One Dark Knight’ was one of the best of 2022 so naturally one would assume he would knock this out of the park too. Nope. Your $27 be Gone. And Nelson is going Ha Ha to you like your name was Bart Simpson. 5.6

 

 

 

If someone rushed into my home and said ‘Quick, the Zombie Apocalypse is here, they’re minutes away and they’re mangling everyone in their path. You only have time to take your Dog and 3 comic books with you’, I’d say ‘Well, is that like, 3 comics I’d have to read over and over or could I keep pulling them?’. They’d say ‘What?’ I’d say, ‘Like, could I keep pulling the issues so I could continue following the story while I flee the Zombies’ They’d say ‘Well, of course your LCS is being relocated to within a safe enclosed fortress so they’ll still be able to distribute media to its customers’. I’d then rush over to my rack and take Conan the Barbarian first without question. I’d probably take Love Everlasting next and debate whether I should take Helen of Wyndhorn or fucking Saga. There’d be nothing worse if BKV still took 6 month hiatuses during a Zombie Apocalypse. Dude. You’re in a barbed wire enclosed fortress with Fiona, y’all should be pumping out Saga bi-weekly my guy. Anyway, this Conan comic is the fucking best. 9.8

 

 

 

After I stirred up all this Hullabaloo on LOCG (League of Comic Geeks) by proclaiming Ultimate Spidey 4 a Boring AF comic since it was nothing more than a dinner conversation, I had a stink eye prepped for this issue as the solicit told me it was going to be another one of those Backstory Bingos that publishers/creators use to deal with Artist hiatuses. I’m okay with a Backstory Bingo/Tangential Issue or Episode for a secondary character, but it has to be memorable AF - clearly my feeling of this book requires multiple AFs. I always use the recent example of the episode in the final season of Ted Lasso that was dedicated solely to Beard. He leaves Ted and goes on this wild and wacky adventure throughout London; it was fantastic and in a way I remember that episode more than I do the others of that season. So it can be done, but man, you better come wit dat ruffneck bidness if you’re going to do it. Did Hickman bring a ‘Beard’ issue to the table? Not really. It was a solid and interesting Backstory Bingo and Hickman’s such a fucking great writer he can make anything intriguing. Yet at the end of the page count, it’s still a Backstory Bingo Bonanza that could have been dripped in with subsequent issues that moved the story forward. 

 

If you ask me, Hickman could have taken the 2 months off that he used for Issue 4 & 5 of this book and, oh, I dunno, FINISHED THE BLACK MONDAY MURDERS!!! Hicksy! WTF?!?! That book is still hanging in the ether! Finish that shit! It was amazing! And while you’re at it FINISH THE DYING AND THE DEAD!!!! WTF is wrong with you??? I feel like a nerdy chick who just got picked up, banged and dumped by Brian Wood at a Comic Con. Get to work on those Dammit! Yeesh. Man, Issue 6 of this book better be the Shizzznit or I’m dropping this like a booger on a plane seat. 6.6

 

 

 

 

I am really loving this Dubz run. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Best Dubz run since the New 52 dropped out of the sky and Azzarello and Chiang absolutely destroyed this book with their combined genius. I do have a bone to pick here though. So at the end of last issue Dubz heroically overcomes her captor’s ‘Rope of Lies’ or whatever and is able to slough off her restraints and reach his neck with her hands. Next thing we see is that she’s in a prison cell in the dark with no windows. Umm, how did we get here? This is the same Dubz from a previous issue that was taking on the entire U.S. Army and was throwing tanks around like I throw doggie toys around my home. This is the same Dubz who took the blow of half of the Washington Monument being throttled on top of her, and yet, she couldn’t subdue a bunch of soldiers in a room, nor escape a guarded cell for months??? She had to eat a rat? Really? Then lost her mind and befriended another rat? 

 

Of course she ate the male rat and befriended the female rat who was its mate. I bet the male rat was a bumbling husband who had a gut and drank beer and had no respect from his rat wife but since she was so noble and had a heart she found it in herself to love the animal with no brains cuz that’s what females do when it comes to husbands since all husbands are Al Bundyesque idiots. You think I wouldn’t pick up on that King? C’mon dude. I’ll forgive you for the fact that you felt the need for some Steve McQueen ‘Papillon’ shit but let’s get back to main narrative. From the cliffhanger I can tell you’re ready to do so, so, bring the ruckus and dat roughneck Dubz bizness. 7.7

 

 

 

The Next Great book out of Image may have finally dropped after a long run of mediocrity and mnyeh from the Publisher that once could do no wrong. With Falling in Love On the Path to Hell Duggan & Co. have concocted a premise so bonkers and yet somehow so perfect that there’s almost no way you won’t be coming back for seconds. Sometimes reckless passion executed with acute simplicity is all you need to deliver something great. When creators go ‘Hey, what if we did this?’ and then laugh and get wildly excited about it at the same time it provides the breeding ground for creating a piece that people will never forget it. No need for me to break down their premise or explain the elements. Just go grab the first issue of this if you can and remind yourself why you love comic books so much. 9.1

 

 

 

 

Umm, this Masterpiece issue was kinda crappy and a general eye roll/flip ahead. Not sure why other than it felt like Bendis was trying to be too cool with the dialogue and character development. Maybe the premise of this book was wack from the get go. A billionaire who supposedly murdered a husband and wife who were thieves that stole from him is now after their kid because, she’s their kid. I think it’s a commentary on how the super rich are so narcissistic that whatever they want is justified, even if it means killing a kid. The kid's assembling a team with an array of cool spy type abilities was really neato, but maybe this premise needed to stay in the oven for a bit longer. It feels soft in the middle. Just one issue to go which feels a little wonky since there seems to be a lot of unresolved shit to tie up after these 5 issues. This was fun for a bit but it’s nowhere near as amazing as ‘Pearl’, Bendis’ last must read book. Still, give me a Bendis/Maleev half baked premise over The Big Poo’s $3.99 jam packed advertisements any day of the week. 7.0

 

 

Great Comics come and go pretty fast. If you don't stop reading caca Tie-In Events from Marvel and DC you might miss them - Pherris Schmuckler