Upon reading the solicit for this comic I immediately assumed that DC hooked up with some sort of intelligence agency or one of Elon Musk’s mind reading devices that has been targeting my thoughts. Why? Because the basic premise of this book is exactly what I have been craving, as far as a Bats story was concerned, for months if not years. Since nobody ever visits me or talks to me about comic books I have to assume that either there’s some sort of implant in my brain or my little princess is recording my facial expressions and thoughts with her eyes through another sort of implant because there’s no way that DC could have put something like this out without ‘focus grouping’ my thoughts.
I know that this blog is garnering attention, now, I’m sure that DC is focusing it’s black ops tech on my brain. I just have to hope that Marvisney doesn’t get wind of this blog. They don’t bother with intelligence agencies or technology. They’ll just kidnap you, bang your booty hole and send you out to a movie premiere with pink hair, a dress and a bewildered look on your face. Yes, they do engage in the whole, put an implant in your tooth and make it seem like you’re being talked to by demons but that’s only if you fight back. After multiple booty hole bangs and premieres you’re not sure which way is up; at least that’s what I’m told.
At any rate, I was thrilled to see a ‘Depression Era First Days of the Bats’ story hit the stands. I was also thrilled to see that this was getting the Black Label treatment. I then became disgusted when I found out that like all other prestige formats it was only getting 3 issues. Oy! Enough with this 3 Big Issues and you’re done insanity! For goodness sake, I’ve said this over and over, just release a prestige format as ongoing and make it bi-monthly, how hard could it be???
I mean, I get it. They already had the Hardcover of these three issues priced at $30 back in November. So what they’re doing is having it done and then releasing it to the comic book geeks in 3 pieces to make extra dough. There’s zero intention to make it ongoing from step one, it’s all about the hardcover, “Take what you can get you monthly losers”, yeah, whatever.
As far as this comic was concerned, a couple things struck me immediately. First, Mike Perkins plastered this book with absolutely gorgeous panels page after page. The atmosphere he created with his backgrounds and depiction of 30s New York City was sublime, he totally captured that era to a tee which set the book up perfectly. Secondly, I think that Jergens may have dipped into the 30s vernacular bucket a bit too much. It just felt like every piece of dialogue was dipped in the slang of day. Every other line it was Doll or Toots or Dame or Mooks or Jalopy or Hubbub. Hey, I’m all for finding dialogue where I can use the word kerfuffle but the script seemed saturated with these bon mots. Here's a snippet of the stupendous art:
But the crown jewel of this book? Batman’s Rabbi! Hava Nagila! Wow! Is this the first time a Rabbi has made an appearance in a Bats book? Or any book for that matter? Rabbi Jakob Cohen, oy, what a mensch. Now we know why Batman was able to persevere in the early days, he had Rabbi Cohen there to counsel him and get him through the bumps and bruises. He probably started Batman with the whole ‘Bring me a nice bowl of soup’ routine which is what Alfred seems to do every time Bats is brooding in his cave. Come to think of it, ya think Alfred might be Jewish? Maybe his last name is actually Pennyberg or perhaps he’s really Alfred Retailshmetail, ya never know! Jews change their names all the time.
Well as luck would have it, I did some digging in a local library and was able to locate a deleted scene from one of Bob Kane’s early scripts of Batman in Detetctive Comics. I was inspired to know more about Rabbi Jakob Cohen so there I was, clicking through the microfiche machine like I was researching a paper on the Scarlet Letter that was due the next day. Lo and behold, in one of Kane’s personal diaries in a sidebar, were these scribbles. It took me a minute to decipher, but I realized that it was Reb Yaakov as the character, which is another way of saying Rabbi Jacob. Don’t sweat me. So after several hours I took down this scene and here’s how it went as far as I could tell from the faded pencil that Kane used:
Rabbi Jacob: So? Nu?
Bats: I’m sorry what?
Rabbi Jacob: You’ve got a little blood on this outfit, hmm…
Bats: Gotham is a violent –
Rabbi Jacob: I can get blood out, wine or shmaltz not so much
Bats: Rabbi -
Rabbi Jacob: Please, call me Jacob
Bats: Okay, Jacob –
Rabbi Jacob: Actually, make it Rabbi Jacob, I think I like that better.
Bats: Okay, Rabbi Ja –
Rabbi Jacob: The ears seem big for a bat, no? Who put this together for you? My Aunt Bernice is a seamstress, she would do wonders with your Bat idea.
Bats: Listen, you have a target on your back and –
Rabbi Jacob: I’d rather a target on my back than a monkey or an itch I can’t reach.
Bats: I can provide you with protection. I’ve spoken to Gordon and –
Rabbi Jacob: What’s purple, hangs on the wall and whistles?
Bats: I – I don’t know
Rabbi Jacob: A white fish.
Bats: A white fish isn’t purple.
Rabbi Jacob: This white fish was painted purple
Bats: Nobody would hang a fish on the wall.
Rabbi Jacob: They hung this fish on the wall.
Bats: It’s impossible for a fish to whistle.
Rabbi Jacob: Oy, you got me, it doesn’t whistle.
Bats: Rabbi Jacob –
Rabbi Jacob: Did you hear about Menachem the Tailor on 54th street and 10th avenue?
Bats: No.
Rabbi Jacob: He sits in his shop naked.
Bats: Really?
Rabbi Jacob: I visited him and there he was sitting naked with a hat on. I asked him why he was sitting naked.
Bats: What did he say?
Rabbi Jacob: He said nobody visits my shop I have no customers, it’s fine.
Bats: Then why does he wear a hat?
Rabbi Jacob: He wears it in case somebody shows up.
It ended with a smudged piece of action that could be interpreted as ‘Batman Laughs’ which would be a first in the history of the character. Maybe it’s coughs. Maybe it’s ‘Batman roughs up Rabbi Jacob demanding he give up his secret source of fresh baked bialys’.
As far as any gripe for the first two issues, I thought the cliffhanger to the first issue was a bit over the top. It felt way out of place, as if Jergens was looking for something a bit too sensational. Other than that, these issues really delivered the goods and I’m super bummed that this is already going to be over by the end of next issue.
However, since this book is done, how about a Rabbi Jakob Cohen spinoff??? Oh c’mon, you know the world is dying to find out what happens to this dude. Who did he marry? Was she a doll or a ditz? Did he help other superheroes in their early daye like the Flash? Did he tell him to slow down and smell the roses once in a while? Did Wonder Woman’s lasso of truth never work on him because he ‘technically was always telling the truth’? The world needs to know.
Instead of The Bat-Man in First Knight you can call it The Rabbi Dude in First Knight of Passover – A Detective Deshmective Comics Guilt Trip. Now that's hotter than bagels fresh out of the oven.
Rating: 9.4
Verdict: Pull & Do the Horah
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