I think I’ve figured out Scott Snyder, what makes him tick, and perhaps why some of his comics turn to poop. Maybe I’ve also figured out what reduces him to a quivering mess in his bed at night. Before I get into it I’d like to preface all of this by saying I consider Scott to be one of the pre eminent comic book writers of our time. He’s imaginative, versatile and wonderful at crafting engaging plots. I’ve said this before but his ‘Court of Owls’ run on the main Batman title is, in my opinion, the greatest Batman story ever told. His run on Batman was also one of the greatest runs on that comic, ever. But, if you’ll remember, it kind of ended oddly, didn’t it?
So let’s return back to the end of Snyder’s Batman run, it was the whole Mr. Bloom storyline, right? Now, I don’t remember the specifics of the story line but I do remember the final issues feeling rushed and out of sorts. The absolute last Synder issue was befuddling as somehow Commissioner Gordon became the hero, not Batman and, it just felt off. Now, this was a while ago but I distinctly remember putting that issue down with a bad taste in my mouth. Really? That’s how one of the greatest Bat writers ever goes out? Now, that’s neither here nor there but let’s take a look at the Bloom dude:
Pointy Talons, impaling people, tall, skinny. Okay, now catalog that image in your head. So, Snyder’s Batman run ends in 2016 but back in 2014 he put out a limited series called ‘Wytches’ which was an amazing horror comic. It may be one of my favorite horror comics of all time and I’m not a big fan of the horror genre. Anyway, it concealed the look of the actual Wytches of the story until the very end which really amped up the tension and intrigue; you had to know who these Wytches were. Well, once you saw them, I mean, look, it was still a great story but, I dunno, a little wacky, not gonna lie. It was kind of hard to find an image of them and there’s no way I’m searching through dozens of comic book boxes for the issues but they kind of looked like this
They were lanky with long arms, disproportionately large and small eye sockets, absurdly long talon-like fingers. Also, the main character ended up somehow entering one of the trees through a tree knot which led to this extensive subterranean lair that seemed to stretch for miles. At this point we got Bloom and Wytches. Okay, next up we have the Batman Who Laughs that became immensely popular during that whole ‘Metal’ run, which I thought was mediocre at best. Yeah, thinking back on that Metal stuff it was pretty bad. Like, I couldn’t even tell you what happened and there were a shit ton of issues; expensive ones I might add. Yet the crown jewel of that entire storyline was the creation of a dark alternate reality version of Batman called the ‘Batman who Laughs’. Clearly a Joker-esque character mold. Let’s take a look at the BWL:
Starting to see a pattern here? Tall, lanky, pointy dude things. Fast forward to his Dark Horse/Comixology Original reprints and he’s right back with the Pointies. His ‘We Have Demons’ was a complete and utter mess, gory, gross and generally silly BUT he did have copious amounts of spiky pointy things. Here's the cover of the first issue which could have been called 'We Have Spiky Nightmares'.
Next was ‘Night of the Ghoul’, which I reviewed here 'Night of the Ghoul', and sure enough look at what’s sloughing after the kid in another subterranean expanse that seems to go on forever:
Next up, his ‘Barnstormers’ story, one of my absolute favorites of 2023. Now, one would think, okay it’s a Romance in the skies type story so we’re not going to see any Snyder nightmare beings, actually, you’d be wrong about that. The main character dude is tormented by dreams of a tall lanky Robot with big shining eyes. Do I have to keep going???
Finally we’re at ‘Canary’. Now, I was really enjoying this one, a major page turner. Snyder, per usual, set up the world and main characters perfectly and really built the suspense through the first two issues. I had to know ‘What’s up with this mine? What’s in it? Why are people going bonkers because of it?’ Now through the first two issues there were some gruesome horrific elements but nothing too off the walls. I think Snyder crafted a fine balance between a grounded Mystery in a remote Western town with a cast of characters that weren’t clichéd or one dimensional at all. I genuinely was looking forward to the third issue and the big reveal.
Well, all this final issue revealed is that Scott Snyder needs therapy. This
issue totally went off the rails, careening into the depths of Wackadoodleville.
My goodness. What a shit show. What a disappointing mess. So our heroes find
their way into the mine and gee, guess what, it goes down thousands and
thousands of feet into a deep subterranean world that goes on forever; more
subterranean empire stuff. The female lead’s Dad lords over the subterranean ‘Mine
World’ and this is what he looks like.
Not only that, once our lead Vigilante dude comes upon the Spiky Emperor of shiny pointy things he finds that his two accomplices, the babe and the geologist dude, have been impaled through their midsections by Daddy Talonbucks.
Major gripe alert, the chick and the dude who were run through by these elongated demon spikes obviously escape. Now, I can somehow believe their adrenaline fuels them to run at top speed from the Pointy Army of Death despite the fact that they have a major hole in their body that’s not been cauterized or stopped in any way. Yet once they get to the surface – what, nothing? Like, oh, yeah we were impaled but, yeah, that was a few pages ago. They don’t collapse, they don’t reach for the wound, it’s like it never happened. C’mon Scottie, deal with the pointy trauma.
Here’s what I think happened. Snyder starts with the pointy teeth theme with American Vampire in 2010. He then goes on to have a massive success with his Batman run which started around 2012 or so. With success comes great responsibility and pressure. At some point he probably went to therapy, or maybe even better, signed up for an Ayuhuasca ceremony to connect with the Great Spirit of comic book writing: Jack Kirby. One of these sessions went awry and it brought up a buried nightmare of his, that of a tall bug eyed lanky point fingered monster thingy that lived under his bed or in his closet as a child. I had one like this when I was kid, I was terrified of the Nosferatu Vampire, notice the similarities with the Synder Monster Canon?
Maybe Scott also saw Nosferatu as a kid and it drove him batty, no pun intended. So while enjoying Bat success he decides to exorcise his demons (perhaps his We Have Demons title is him admitting that he still has them) and writes Wytches; the first instance of the lanky bug eyed pointy monster thingy. Unfortunately it opens up a Pandora’s Box of repressed fear and psychosis for Snyder which spurs him on to write the Mr Bloom story line. As the story progresses Snyder regresses and becomes more and more volatile to the point where he’s a blubbering mess at DC Editorial meetings. He’s wailing ‘Pointy Pointy Pointy! BIG eyes! Big! Ooooh very big! Tall Big Pointy Pointy Pointy!’ At this point DC knows they have to can him or give him a break which is why Mr. Bloom ends with a thud.
Weeks later Snyder shows up to DC offices again. He’s been told to stay away for a couple of months to get his act together and see a shrink. He ignores this advice and completely loses his shit instead. He shows up to DC dressed up as the Batman who Laughs. Maybe he looked like this:
Of course, if you’re walking around New York City like this nobody is going to blink an eye. They’d just assume you’re in a Death Metal Band or work for the Mayor. Now, DC could either wrap him up in a straight jacket or squeeze the insanity out of him and release a whole new series of Snyder Stuff for $5-6 bucks a pop with foil covers and shit; make a killing. What do you think they did? The ‘Metal’ stuff was mind numbingly bad but DC made their cash and then they jettisoned the wack job. Since then Snyder’s been shaking in his writer’s chair, yelping ‘Pointy Pointy coming to get me’ every few minutes while he pops out new comic story lines.
He’s got his pointy fingers in the amazing new DSTLRY line with his upcoming ‘White Boat’ horror series. It remains to be seen if he’s exorcised the Nine Inch Nails from his psyche. Maybe DSTLRY did an intervention on him and shook him back to a balanced bad ass comic book writer. It's not that Scott's not one of the most talented writers in the industry. It just seems he can't help himself at the conclusion of each of his books to crumble into the Spiky Evil imagery that seems to torment him. Whatever the case may be, I’ll always drop coin for a Scott Snyder book. It may be bat shit crazy, but it’ll be wonderfully entertaining – at least until the Pointy Pointy shows up.
Rating: 6.1
Verdict: Don't ever point at Scott Snyder
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