When we last left our dad/son team in the old folks home in the middle of nowhere Dad was holed up in a room with a creepy bald gross retiree with a nose missing begging him for film footage while the son was wandering around the spooky facility looking for a wifi signal at which point he comes upon a room of waifish children who appear on their way to be, I dunno, sacrificed or something? This sounds like any ol’ day in Hollywood except replace Dad/Son with Writing Partners.
One Writing Partner is always stuck in a room begging for more creative control with an Aging Yuck Mouth Mogul with various body parts missing. The Mogul is always hooked up to an air canister and also babbles on about the staff out to get him. The other Writing Partner is always wandering around the studio looking for a signal. He or she ultimately trips into the ‘bleed out these inept writers and their mind numbing pilot scripts into a trough room’ and wonders if they’re about to join them. Ho hum. Nothing unusual here.
My prediction for this comic is that the Dad ends up like General Zod and co from Superman II in a two dimensional square spiraling through space but this time it’ll be a two dimensional piece of film that will be spiraling over the San Fernando valley. I predict the Son will get an internship with creepy Mogul dude and will be editing Marvel Comics in no time. As you can tell, I really wasn’t psyched to get back into this comic. Turns out my hesitancy was dead on, the second issue bottomed out into a ca ca poo poo fest.
Where to start? I mean, this comic reminds me of those ‘Weird Tales’ comics from the 60s or 70s that you’d find in a garage sale in a 25 cents cardboard box when you were a kid. They’d be missing covers and half the book was advertising cheap plastic junk. You’d get your parents to buy you a couple because, hey the ride home is long and boring and how bad could the comic be? How about use it for birthday present wrapping bad? The premise of this story is that there’s a film about an ancient ghoul spirit that takes possession of a soldier in a movie and that soldier brings the ghoul back home with him. A film buff loser dad tracks down the director to find the rest of the film only to find out the ghoul is in the facility and there’s going to be a ritual to set it free at night. Apparently the ghoul comes out every couple centuries when “civilization gets too selfish and rot sets in’.
Great. After the Ghoul wipes out the two dimensional characters in this five dollar shite fest maybe it can head over to Los Angeles for me? I’d like it to begin around 8am at the top of the 405 freeway, make it’s way down to the 10 freeway, then head over to the 110 freeway up to the 101 and then back to the 405. If it still has some rot vacuum in it I’d like it to pop over to City Hall in Downtown and just hook up a sinkhole if possible.
The final nail in my comic book reading time for the day that this comic perfectly ruined is when the son goes looking for his dad, who ran on foot from the car back to the facility, and of course stumbles into an underground tunnel. After the basic, hello, anyone there stuff he walks into a couple of ridiculous naked old people and the woman has like 9 tits.
I mean, is this supposed to freak me out? Biden and Pelosi after a bender? I always knew Pelosi had extra pairs of tits under that dress of hers. Is this a doodle? And what’s with the artist putting his insignia in the corner? Actually he does it several times in the issue! Dude, insignias go on covers not interior art. Who okayed this? It’s bad enough I lost complete interest in the story at this point but now I have to wonder if this full page is for sale?
Dammit, and there’s only three issues! This is the second time Synder roped me into his three issue gambit:
1. Hook them with a solid premise first issue
2. Crap the bed the second issue
3. They’ll either get the third issue because it’s stupid not to finish the story or not, doesn’t matter we already milked them for two issues that shouldn’t have seen the light of day.
He did the same thing on the ‘We Have Demons’ three issue blecchathon that dropped recently. It’s actually brilliant. If you’re watching a 90 minute movie and you’re an hour in and it starts sucking really bad are you going to turn it off or just watch it until the end because you’ve already put in an hour? Of course you watch it to the end! It’s just 30 minutes. It’s just one more issue. Fuck. Marketing wins again. I already pulled the last issue. Dammit.
I feel hoodwinked and bamboozled. At the very least can Snyder or Francavilla come clean on the circumstances which gave them a clean look at Biden and Pelosi buck naked in a tunnel in D.C.? Now that would be a three issue comic I’d be all over.
Rating: 4.1
Verdict: Suck it up get the last issue and hate yourself for it
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