Have you heard about the guy who won an Art contest in Colorado by submitting a piece that was done completely by AI? It was created on a program called Midjourney and the rudimentary basics of how it works is that it pulls images and uses algorithms based on the words you give it. So the words given to this piece were ‘opulent and lavish’:
It’s nice right? But is it art? I mean, this is a philosophical discussion that’s a long deep rabbithole. I call MAJOR BS but that’s neither here nor there. I bring this up because Liam Sharp’s Lizard Pig comic book clearly uses a whole lot of digital art. This ain’t your grampaw’s Jack Kirby and Neal Adams art in here. In the first several pages Sharp jumps around from a moody dark Lesbo kiss to a goofy Nickelodeonish cartoon vibe to a dark cyberkinetic look to a highly detailed and stylized sketch vibe…and I still have no idea what the fuck is going on.
Liam! Dude. Beauty does not equal story. Yes it looks great but I can just walk into my local comic book shop and pick up 4 different comic books and get the same effect of different artistic styles. Liam, did you AI this book? Is life closing in on you and you needed a source of income so you just sat in front of Midjourney and said ‘Ghost in the Machine, Subliminal Disney penis stuff, CW First Lezzy smooch, Tolkienesque doodles!’ That’s the only thing that makes sense here. You know what Midjourney clearly lacks in? PLOT. Plot Liam!
Remember I said that if a comic book has quotes then in all likelihood it’s gonna suck. Well, guess what’s on the back cover of one Dragon Pig book? Quotes! I didn’t even realize there were quotes on the first issue. Bendis dropped one. Ya think he brought this book to Kareem when he was begging him for a quote for his Pearl book? Did Kareem grab him by his family jewels and threaten bloody murder if he ever brought some AI generated Brit monarch BS around his sanctuary again? Look at these quotes! There’s one from Entertainment Weekly, does anybody even
This comic opens with an older football player now with dreads and a beard witnessing his supposed girl smooching some rando girl. His girlfriend who’s dabbling in the ‘Hmm chicks are hot’ idea is the potty mouthed 'hey how ya doin' narrator of this comic. A comic of a Cyber AI war on humanity in the future mixed with a Merlin lording over an ancient war in Britain. I know how comics work. It’s so ridiculous and makes so little sense that you keep buying them to find out what the writer is on about. Liam you sod, you’re not fooling me! I know this is fast road to nowhereville. That’s a Brit thing right? Sod? I’ve never called anyone a sod before. I don’t think I’m using it properly.
This comic is a beautiful mess. You think I don’t know about beautiful messes? I live in La La Land Liam, they’re everywhere. Oh yeah, they’re reaaaal tempting, believe me. You just can’t help yourself but let me tell you pal, you’re getting nowhere with them. A beautiful mess is what inspired ‘Satisfaction’ by the Stones and every other song of angst and self deprecation in music. You think I’m gonna fall for your beautiful mess Liam Sharp? Huh? Just because you got Entertainment Weekly on your back cover talkin’ all dis smack about you?!? You’re just like every other beautiful mess in this city of angles. I’m gonna pick you up for six months and take you to nice places and then drop you off for a hug and smooch only so you can go and bang a fetid decrepit producer in the hills as he sputters and wheezes on your backside in his forever pool overlooking LA and my humble abode.
Well not this time Liam Sharp! You found some interesting history about English Kings good for fucking you! That doesn’t mean you sell your soul to an AI program and make it all better by a lesbo kiss in issue 2! For four bucks a month I better see more lesbo kisses and more cyborg buttocks otherwise its four dollars down the loo. I’m pulling my Jew card here Liam and I’m saying this AI mess is not kosher so you can take your computer generated pixel bacon and go win a prize in some contest in Alleghany, PA and leave me and the comic book community alone! I got better things to do with my time if I want a sci fi fantasy fix. Hell, LOTR just dropped on Prime.
Actually I just inhaled the first two episodes of the new LOTR. Let me save you the 2 hours. Here’s the plot in a nutshell: Is there evil here? I think there’s evil. No, there’s no evil. There’s evil. No there isn’t. Yes, there is. I’m telling you there’s evil. Is it down this tunnel? No. Wait, evil? There must be evil! There’s not now go take a boat ride into eternity, enough with this evil talk . I will not I will come back and find the evil, it’s gotta be somewhere. Is that it in the sky? No. Look at this cow, ha, evil! Well, that’s a little evil but not really. Evil where are youuuuu? Ohhh well that’s evil. Eventually some evil shows up.
Unfortunately, unlike LOTR and the hide and go seek for evil, while looking for a plot in Liam Sharp's Starwhinge there’s none to be found.
Rating: 6.0
Verdict: Drop and Flip Through
Allow me to explain the drop and flip through verdict. Whenever you see flip through added to a drop verdict it means drop this comic from your pull list. BUT, when you go to your Local Comic Shop, scan the comic racks and grab this comic.Then, when you do, flip through it. Why? Because it’s intriguing but it’s an absolute nightmare to read. So you’ll take it out of the rack and you’ll flip through it just because you’re curious as to what happens but not enough to waste your good hard earned cashish on it. Let the record show that it is extremely rare for flip through comics to get taken up to the cashier after a drop.
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