A Vicious Circle is back! It took them a whopping 8 months to come out with the second installment but my goodness, it so majestically beautiful in its prestige format; definitely worth the wait. Lee Bermejo must be an Alien who decided to go incognito upon arriving here. He milled about humanity but for some reason he ended up a comic book artist and now his Alien Art Techniques have made it onto the page. Thankfully Mattson Tomlin is keeping up with this generational intergalactic talent by weaving a super cool and highly engaging sci-fi tale for the ages.
This issue was more of a back story issue rather than a plot forward issue but who cares, it could be about doing the laundry and Bermejo could keep you riveted for hours with his line work. I think this is a 3 issue series, shame, this needs to be like, I dunno, 12 or something. Pull a Saga and stretch it out for ten years or so. By then we will have been invaded or disclosure will be in full effect and they can get an Alien Editorial team to take over the slow of brain Boom dudes who are probably unsure of how to release the best thing to hit the stands in over a year.
I fully blame the Boom! suits for taking 8 months to release issue #2 not the creative team. I just don’t think they’re used to having such an unbelievable book on their roster. I can imagine that when the first issue came out the Head of the Company lost his shit and made a big scene about it. Probably went something like this:
The Head CEO Big Whig of Boom! Comics bursts into a Boom! Conference Room where a couple of lackeys sit along with the resident Wise Ass who got the job because he knows someone who knows someone.
CEO: What the hell is this?
Lackey #1: What’s what?
CEO: This!
He tosses a copy of ‘A Vicious Circle #1’ on the table.
CEO: Is this thing ours?
Lackey #1: Yeah, big hit.
CEO: Look at these pages, they’re amazing, this is fucking real art!
Lackey #2: Is that a problem boss?
CEO: Well, yeah makes all our other books look like shit.
Huey: Because they are shit
CEO: Shut the fuck up Huey. Who is this Bermejo guy, how much are we paying him?
Lackey #1: Not much.
CEO: Not much? We got Picasso on the cheap?
Lackey #2: He hasn’t worked since the Bat cock scandal, so he took what we gave him.
CEO: Bat cock scandal?
Lackey #1: You don’t know about the bat cock?
CEO: What bat cock?
Lackey #2: He drew Batman’s cock.
CEO: What? Where? How?
Lackey #2: In a bat book, Black Label’s first book several years ago, forget the name.
CEO: Waddya mean he drew his – what? Like Disney draws subliminal dicks on everything?
Lackey #1: No you could see it.
Huey: I’ve heard if you melt a pair of Mickey Mouse Ears it turns into a puddle that looks like a dick.
Boom! Comics Receptionist pops her head in.
Receptionist: Shut the fuck up Huey.
CEO: Wait, was it hard, the bat dick?
Lackey #1: No, flaccid.
Lackey #2: It was kinda like a silhouette
CEO: A flaccid silhouette bat cock, hmph.
Lackey #1: You missed all this?
CEO: How did this guy not get cancelled?
Lackey #2: Books were selling like hotcakes.
Lackey #1: They were going for $150 on eBay
CEO: $150. Fuck me. Did anyone get canned?
Lackey #1: DC suits did, this Bermejo guy walked but became untouchable.
Huey: Fucking Brian Wood gets cancelled for feeling up average looking comic book chick employees and this Bermejo guy goes scott free for drawing a legendary hero’s dick for the first time ever, makes no sense.
Lackey #2: Maybe those average comic book chicks wanted to see the Bat Dizzle
Lackey #1: Maybe that was part of the Wood settlement, cancel Wood and draw the B-Peen.
CEO: Jeez 150 a book. [beat] Do we have any cocks we can draw?
Lackey #1: You want us to draw cocks?
CEO: How about Keanu’s on that Brzrkr book?
Lackey #2: You think people wanna see Keanu’s cock? He’s like 80 years old.
Huey: I give that no more than 40 bucks on eBay.
CEO: How about Power Rangers, can we throw some silhouette flaccid cocks on them?
Lackey #1: Mmm, hard to do with those suits.
Huey: What about Buffy?
CEO: Huey you are a sicko perv.
Huey: No, listen, no cocks, we –
Lackey #1: Ohhh, you mean –
Huey: Yup, the Buffy Toe.
Lackey #2: Buffy’s Puffy.
CEO: Buffy’s Puffy, hmm, okay, run some numbers and take a look at next month’s panels I don’t want anything too obvious.
Lackey #1: A ‘Camel Silhouette’
Lackey #2: A ‘Camel Flip Flop’
Lackey #1: A ‘Camel Pinky Toe’
CEO: Just make it delicate and - whoa! What the fuck? This Bermejo book costs 10 bucks?
Lackey #2: We ran that by you
CEO: I thought you were joking.
Lackey #1: It’s selling.
CEO: Without any cocks? This is going to make all our other series look – don’t say it Huey.
An IT Nerd Guy pops his head in.
IT Nerd: Shut the fuck up Huey!
CEO: Get this Bermejo guy in here, have him draw Buffy’s cee-toe, if anyone figures it out or calls us out on it we blame this Bermejo pervert and fire him, make a big scene, capische?
Lackey #1: Got it.
CEO: Implicate Wood too if you can, say he was involved somehow.
Lackey #2: Done.
Huey: DC, what a bunch of fucking losers. Everyone wants to see Wonder Woman’s tits not Batman’s cock. What were they thinking?
Lackey #1: Facts.
Lackey #2: I just texted Bermejo and he’s down for the Buffy Puffy.
CEO: Nice.
Huey: Did you know that if you go to Disney Land and shine a black light on any Disney Princess the outline of a cock going into their mouth will appear on their face?
Lackey #1: Oh, that’s actually true, I tried that a few months ago.
CEO: Enough with the cocks gentleman, I wanna see the Buff Puff going for 300 on eBay. Now get to work!
I know it’s been rough out there in Comic Book Land lately but this is a bona fide smash. Highly highly recommended for fans of any genre.
Rating: 9.6
Verdict: Pull
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